have you never had a good relationship or did something go sour?
i'm sorry to hear this, one of the few good things in my life is the relationship i have with my mom. not in a "momma's boy" way I don't think, but almost like a friendship
We've never had a good relationship. We are just very different people. And I'm just not the sort of person who has good relationships. For example, I never used to tell he stuff like "I love you," or hug, or anything else, because I'm just the sort of person who doesn't like doing that sort of thing, and never have been, ever since I was 5-ish. I am also very stubborn, and have very different views from my mother. I had a very bad temper, growing up, which would get me in trouble in school and at home.
Overall, it's just a recipe for a bad son.
The most interesting conversations, and the most intense fights, that I've ever had were with my mother. It's the affine combinations of mental disorders we share making our conversations sprawl and focus in chaotic harmony with each other. I manage to celebrate my disorders as helping me to see what most others wont, but she got the raw end of the deal in terms of severity and nonfunctionality. When she was weaning off her selfmedication, she grew more suspicious of me, eventually accusing me of things I didn't do, of manipulating her, which was really stressful, and I started to feel like she was manipulating me. In hindsight, it was probably the withdrawal and taking time adjusting to her new chemical balance, but we're effectively estranged now. She said she feared I'd kill her before she left the last time, so I can't even do anything about it.