/gf/ - Good Feelings

>>744
>senior software engineer position
Interesting. In late January I got a certificate in system administration: my first certificate of any sort.

>>745
Congrats :D Was it a general cert, or was it with a specific technology?

Think I mentioned it another thread, but I signed a lease on a new apartment. It's been fun buying new furniture and kitchenware.

I've never had a food processor, until today!

>impostor syndrome

As soon as I read this, I knew what it meant, and knew that I had it. I had to look it up anyway, because, of course, I am extremely skeptical feeling "right" about anything at all. This has been a struggle to live with.

Sorry for the blog, but this is a big moment forme.

Not sure if it's "good," but everyone at my job seems to - quoting several co-workers and bosses, now - "love me" simply because I work hard to try and prove to myself that I am worth something to someone, and it is never enough for me. I will work 13 hours straight, no breaks, covered in grease, sweat, and other filth, get high praise from the engineers to the menials, and it still means nothing. I remember taking the tests for retards in high school because I had bad grades. When they told me I was really smart, it upset me, and I stormed out of the room asking, "Yeah, compared to whom???" Leonardo da Vinci was a smart man. I am not a smart man. Euthyphro may have been, and I would have told him so.

On paper things are going well, but my brain feels like it is spiraling. I think maybe it is my house. I am praised by people outside, but constantly insulted when inside.

Good news is that I'm saving to buy a house to get the heck out of here.

Also OP, I am proud of you.

>>748
hope you get out of there soon, anon. Best of luck!

>>748
>When they told me I was really smart, it upset me, and I stormed out of the room asking, "Yeah, compared to whom???" Leonardo da Vinci was a smart man. I am not a smart man.
Cringed hard. Sorry.

I hope your life improve when you move of you house. Try not to wear out too much at work.

>>751
No need to apologize, I am not trying to impress anybody, but i don't understand what's cringe worthy. Maybe it was just my high school, but it seemed like it was full of people who were actively working to destroy their futures. I guess i didn't explain myself well. The way i see it is that they were bullshitting me telling me i was smart to try and boost my esteem, while also telling me i was a retard who needed remedial classes. If the principal, your parents, the school therapist, and your teachers all got you together to tell you very seriously that you were "smarter than every single tree on this campus, so cheer up!" I guess maybe you'd take it well?

Just weighed myself for the first time in two months

Down from 300 to 260! Still heavy, but was really surprised. Have just been trying to eat less, walk a little more. Hopefully I can keep it up

>>753

That's a big change UUUU

Good job, Anon!

>>746
BSDA
http://www.bsdcertification.org/
It's just general Unix/BSD stuff, but it's fun!
>>748
>I will work 13 hours straight, no breaks, covered in grease, sweat, and other filth
Are you a masochist? Please take care of yourself better! And moving out is a great thing. I'm happy you're able to do so.
I'm living in hell right now, living with my family.

>>752
Ahh, something similar happened to me. A lot of people in school kept telling me I was smart. I didn't care to judge whether I was smart or retarded, but it upset me since intelligence doesn't matter in school, only how much you suck up to the system does.
The same people who called me smart usually said stuff like "you're so smart, it's too bad your grades are so bad… it's too bad you failed that class even though you're smart… it's too bad you didn't get into that class because getting an A- prohibits entry into the class…"
Basically they'd pretend to care about the school system shafting me, while calling me ``smart'' and refusing to fix actual problems.
>``Everyone else does over seven hours of homework a night, why can't you? You're so smart, you should be able to do it in six hours!''
It's disgusting when people say they care but none of their actions show any benevolence at all.
I'm sorry for blogposting.

>>755
That is fun! Combo it with proficiency in one or two scripting languages (or just get great with bash) and you're employable as fuck anon :) You'll get outta there soon

>>757
>Combo it with proficiency in one or two scripting languages (or just get great with bash)
Never had bash installed, only been using ksh and sh (specifically ash)
Of course I know how to script well in sh, though. It's not hard, and I needed to learn it to get the cert anyway
>and you're employable as fuck anon
Sadly, there are next to no jobs in the area, as I live in endless suburbs, with no real cities around.
But I'll try. Maybe I can convince my parents to fund me moving out to get a job somewhere in this country. Probably not.

>>758
Ah gotcha.

Maybe you could work out a loan with them. Before you take it out, try to see if there's anywhere you can review remotely, or, go to the nearest city, stay for a couple nights in a cheap motel and pre-arrange interviews for those days.

>>756

No need to apologize about blog-posting. Everyone gets a turn to speak around the fire, and what or why they say is not for us to judge - unless it's furries, pedos, or bronies.

You are so right about people speaking benevolently but taking no action.

Just last week a co-worker who isn't the hardest worker or most reliable person got in a really bad car accident and is on medical leave. People made him a card and we raised over $300 for him. I printed out a large (like 4 by 5.5 foot) shitpost-tier meme poster based on his name and donated some money as well.

When we went to go deliver his card after work in the morning (we work night shift), there was his truck all smashed up, roof caved in, etc. (It rolled 3 times, but he was thrown out of the rolled-down driver window and that saved his life)
He was in a back brace with one arm in a sling and said he'd have to work that morning on getting out his stereo, amps, gps unit, etc. before night time when people would steal it all. My other co-workers who started the card and gathered the money basically said, "Well that sucks, here's your card, bye!" and left in like 10 minutes. I stayed there over 4 hours crawling into the wreck and pulling out everything while trying not to get cut by broken glass (still did a little), and I got it all done by myself.

>>758
Where do you live? Like >>759 says about arranging a cheap motel around interviews, if your parents won't give you money I will pay for one or two nights at a motel.

>>760
> I will pay for one or two nights at a motel.
That's fucking nice as shit, man. I'm not the guy you asked, I just wanted to say that.
You're a nice guy.

>>759
A loan from my parents? Scary idea, but I'll keep that in mind.
>>760
>what or why they say is not for us to judge - unless it's furries, pedos, or bronies.
I disagree. Judging is natural to the human experience. You can't form opinions without judgment.
>I stayed there over 4 hours crawling into the wreck and pulling out everything while trying not to get cut by broken glass (still did a little), and I got it all done by myself.
That's kind of you.
Makes me think: before becoming NEET, I would have had a reason to post on /deeds/ multiple times a week.
>Where do you live?
South Florida. If you look at a satellite image, you'll surely understand what I meant in my previous post!
>if your parents won't give you money I will pay for one or two nights at a motel
That's insane! But I'll remember that while continuing my search for jobs. Thank you.
It'd likely be far too expensive for me to burden anyone with: there's more than motel costs: the cost of getting somewhere. I don't have a car.
I'll definitely bother my parents a hundred times before I ask for anything.

Back to the thread topic, I washed my keyboard's keycaps today and it feels wonderful.

>>761

I haven't done anything yet, but the offer still stands.

>>762
>I disagree.

You were right to disagree - I didn't mean judge at all, I mean judge in terms of what's right and what's wrong. On this website I feel like we wouldn't get banned for posting about a dream we had on /gf/, it's just a little looser, so I don't think the blog is out of place…and I don't think others would really try to make a stink over it, either.

>transportation costs

This is something I considered as well. I'm not sure what public transportation is like out there (probably isn't too much) or if there are any public vanpools (probably not) but a quick search might yield something.

I just want you back out in the job market making your own living. If you're willing to make an effort, I'd want to support you, if your parents are unwilling or unable.

>>760
>pedos
You don't mind Lolicons, though, right?

>>760
>pedos
You don't mind zoophiles, though, right?

>>760
>pedos
You don't mind coprophiles, though, right?

>>764
Strictly anime-based ones, no.

>>765
Those are not people.

>>766
As long as they don't post pics, whatever, they aren't hurting anyone but themselves unless they harbor infectious disease. At least Pamperchu had a microwave-based sterilization system.

Nothing life-advancing, but I finally convinced my grandmother to come stay at my family's house for a couple days, and it has been so nice. Tonight we all sat on our veranda and watched the full moon rise, only to find out there was a bit of it missing due to a partial eclipse. She also told me stories from her childhood in a tiny village, and I got to hear one she'd never shared before.

Things can get pretty rough at times, and the world is completely fucked. But my dream is still obtainable, and I'm still taking the right steps to get there. When I'm having a bit of a rough time, and all the shit is building up, I can remember why I'm going through this, and what will come out of it. Life is good

Heading to disneyland today :3 i hope it's not burned down

>>915
That's awesome! Jewed or not, I love that place. Have fun, anon!

I feel like I'm floating

>>925
Why's that?

>>927
Are you taking it recreationally or for depression?

>>928
recreationally, but arguably both
Right now I'm fucking buzzed because I found a bunch of tunes that I've been searching for for ages. This is the best I've ever felt, and I'm completely sober. Funny how emotions are so fickle like that.