I hope you use your good standing to try and help your nation. Brain-drain is why it takes so long for third-world countries to improve. >>646>Capitalism, statism, religion, and family.
Sounds like you're just blaming other things instead of the real problem: yourself. You can only improve yourself when you recognize what is wrong. >>546
Well, I'd really like to be the king of my own nation, or a great adventurer, or a genius scientist, you know, all the things I'd daydream about when I was a kid. But they're unrealistic. And, since I started growing up, the fantastic in my dreams has declined. Now, I only daydream about a few things.
1: Systems. Systems of many different things. Like, I make up my own government for a fictional nation, or a own language. Usually without a ton of actual story. Just world-building.
2: Stories. Now, while the grandiosity in my dreams has dwindled, a bit is still there. And some of these stories aren't even that grandiose. But the difference between these stories and the ones of my youth is that these never involve me. Always a character who's separate from myself.
3: A mundane life. These are the only dreams I can really have with myself as the main character, anymore. And they go pretty much the same. Get out of NEETdom, get a job, an apartment, I spend some time imagining what the apartment would look like, Etc., then they diverge, a bit. Most, here, just end in me wallowing in alcohol and killing myself. But why is that? These are my dreams. They're supposed to make me happy. Why do I kill myself, even in them? I don't know. Now, some end in me becoming a hermit, building a cabin out in the woods of Maine, or somewhere, near a great forest, and a beautiful cliff by the sea, with a cold sand beach down at the bottom. Basically, I imagine myself living in my dream area. Then, in some of them, when I'm feeling really good, I imagine a woman coming into my life. I'm not often able to dream of women, because my self-inserting dreams tend to be more realistic, and I can't imagine a woman ever caring about me, but sometimes, I'm just feeling good. I marry her, raise a family, we move to Maine.
And that's my true dream, my end goal. But it'll never happen. I'm just gonna kill myself, when it becomes completely unbearable to live.