/dr/ - Dreams

i've had a lot of trauma in my life, bodily, emotionally, and the two at the same time. most of it is body trauma that of course has emotional trauma directly related to it. i've had 11 surgeries before, and each one is exponentially harder on my mind than the last.

the first eight were on my eyes for acute strabismus, and on the eighth (age 15) i ended up not being completely unconscious for the first twenty minutes. that's more common than people think with surgeries on children, since too much anesthetic can kill a child very easily. it's better to do too little than be sued for malpractice.

my ninth surgery was at age 16, to remove a ruptured testicle from a violent encounter with a group of people who didn't like me. later that year i had my ninth and final eye surgery. it was relatively uneventful.

the last two were separate surgeries to remove shrapnel from a single welding accident.

i'm 21 now, and as i go through EMDR therapy for PTSD, everything is coming back very vividly and painfully. it's 3 am right now, and i'm awake because i have come to dread sleep. every dream is a mundane, hazy vision of being in a hospital bed. the room is well lit, as hospitals are, there are no windows, and always one or two people semi-visible in my peripheral vision. i can move, but not with any meaningful control over myself, and never enough to get up or get the attention of the passing figures.

it's been four weeks, and every night it's the same dream. does anyone here have any advice to give me? i can't stop the therapy but i really can't continue dreaming like this. it's never restful and i just want everything to stop.

do you guys get those falling dreams often?

Let's talk about something closely related to dreams, the actual act of falling asleep. I only bring it up because I have had troubles with insomnia for a while, and I know a lot of imageboard goers tend to as well because of excess computer use, especially at night. Falling asleep is vital to dreams, since it can determine the quality and length of sleep (more time you spend rolling around in bed is less time dreaming). I've found a few ways to fall asleep quicker.

1. Don't consume caffeine, if you must only do it early in the morning. Some people are more sensitive to this than others though.
2. Try not to drink water too close to bedtime if you have a troubling bladder
3. Tense all of your limbs, including your neck and face, while in bed. When I say tense I mean squeeze them really hard for at least five seconds with all of your strength. When I learned how to do this it was probably the single greatest boon to curing my insomnia.
4. Avoid blue light an hour before sleep. I find it easy to do because I meditate for an hour before bed but if you don't want to do that, try reading a book or doing some other activity to get your eyes off the computer/phone.
5. Get a sleep mask and earbuds. Never let your sleep be interrupted by external light/noise.
6. Try melatonin on those hard to sleep nights. It's not good to take frequently though and it works better in smaller amounts, so don't go overboard.

What about you guys, do you have any nightly rituals?

I've made up an imaginary friend at my dreams.
We always together, in a party, a pub, at home, whatever the place.
We like tha same things, we do all of this things together, we enjoy so much our conversations about the nostalgic things of the past (because, she looks like a mix of 3 or 4 old friends of primary school) and we talk mucha about the old friends and of how is they doing now, we drink together, we laugh too much… I feel like we are a perfect union because he understandme completly, of couse because we're the same person.

It was unconsciously, and I'm enjoying it.
Have you ever experimented something like this? Share.

A.K.A: Share your blogpost about a nightmare you've had.

Lemme star by talking about mine, which for some reason, always seem to be disjointed for some reason. Had these yesterday.

First nightmare was me having a conversation to this sort of cockroach with human, slanted eyes with a mouth (kind of similar to David Cronenberg's Naked Lunch), about dissecting a human corpse, which was on a tiny table and was only a torso with a couple of organs with it's head and one arm cut off. As i was doing the operation, the cockroach thing kept talking to me about some non-sense i forgot, while blood kept spurting on my hands inside the human corpse's carcass.

Second one was me starting at the bottom of a sterile, white staircase (which i suppose was a hospital?), which had a backdoor of some sort. When i opened it, there was a large city road that had two groups of crowded people in different sides, arguing about some religion thing; one dude that was from the left side of the street, which was somebody i personally knew, started to fight with the other group which was on the right. Hugged him in an attempt to restrain him from getting his shit fucked by the mob of angry people, and pulled him inside the (what i suppose is) hospital's backdoor and locked it. He was lying unconscious on the floor, as i hopelessly tried to wake him up.

Let's talk a bit about recurring themes in our dreams.

I've always had a lot of dreams that involve tech breaking or even my computer getting infested by malware. Last night I had a dream about my phone getting some strange malware that kept opening new screens of the web browser no matter what I did.

This is all despite that I've never really had any major problems with tech in real life.

What are the reoccurring themes in your dreams? Do you think they have some kind of meaning, like being expressions of some kind of inner anxieties?

Do you dream more intensely whenever you stay up for 20+ hours or when you just simply go to bed after the average 16-18 hours?

It's often hit and miss with me. Sometimes when I stay up so long and then finally go to bed. I'll end up not having a dream at all and it'll all be instantaneously over. I'll wake up and 8 - 10 hours has passed in what seemed like seconds.

I just leave it here: http://doujinmusic.ru

This is a lossless (FLAC) doujin music library that you can listen on the fly with a browser or mobile device (Android, iOS).

The library is constantly updated, and you can add your own collections.
And of course the hunt for priority.

You can get into the library by receiving an invite in the telegram-channel @touhouchan
It's free.

We are glad to everyone who is interested.

Demo account:

touhou
1234

What? Talking about uboachan is against the rules? I don't see anything about that in the rules? Who is the owner of this place?

How do you keep tracks of your dream?
I used to write down on notepad/Word all of them, then eventually I stopped.
Of course doing so helps in remembering the next dreams, and so on and so on, but sometimes word are not enough.
I wish I could draw so I would draw some wonderful sceneries, or weird stuff or whatever I see in dreams.