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No. 984

Paranoid thinking. Can't order food from Door Dash or Uber Eats. They'll poison it. Don't want to make dinner, it'll make more dishes. I don't want to do the dishes because I'm tired. I'm permanently tired because of depression. Get anxious because I think my life is spiraling. Desperately want to break the chain but being too uncomfortable to do so.

I'm scared.

No.985

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What happens to a person like this but they can't drive, can't work, can't go to school? Can't meet new people because they're scared they'll be killed? Can't stand being outside because the light gives them a headache?

What do I do? What do I do?

No.999

It's not paranoia. It's mind control. They're trying to neutralize you. They're making you think everything's out to get you so you won't do anything significant. Don't let them take over your thoughts. Next time you notice these thoughts intruding into your mind, do the exact opposite just to spite them. Break the conditioning.

No.1000

>>984
OP, I experience a lot of that all the time, practically 24/7. Except I couldn't even first go the route of ordering food due to not having any money nor willing to use apps let alone a smartphone.

>>985
They rot away leeching off of others until people start to find disdain with them. Then I imagine soon they'll be thrown out and homeless. I'm worried to the core that's the next stage in my life. I can't even bring myself to figure out what to do to get on disability. I attempted to see a psychologist but quickly found myself in regret, thus never going back. I'm also scared to go outside at night due to worrying about getting attacked by a loose dog or wild animal.

>>999
I'd love to take the measures and steps to fully take back my mind from this "disease" and it's control over me. I've been slowly trying to do a few things each day and adding more tasks. But each time that I try this eventually I'll get "stuck" and feel as I must start over.

No.1001

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>>1000

Honestly I've been doing somewhat better after making this post. No recent psychotic meltdowns other than a few sleep deprived hallucinations. Talked to my therapist about it and she assures me that it's okay to be scared but in order to ever get past this obstacle sometimes you have to take the risk.

It reminds me of the time a survivor from the columbine shooting went on to survive the Aurora movie theater shooting. You'd never think it'll happen twice– but they lived, twice, through out two horrifying events and still live a normal life to this day. Human beings truly are like cockroaches… we are resilient creatures.

There is hope. Even baby steps is progress. Even if baby steps is all you'll ever do, it's progress, and it's good.

No.1002

>>1001
So glad to hear this friend. I recently sought help for problems myself. We’re all gonna make it

No.1003

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>>1002

That's the spirit!

No.1004

>>1001
That's really good to hear. I'm still hoping to achieve any improvements. I haven't made any steps yet on attempting to find a psychologist or even return to where I went before. I feel as if due to the pandemic they'd want me to do video calls or something over the phone which I'm not willing to do at all. Such a troubling situation. I guess I can say, I haven't really become any worse. I've been avoiding specific negative triggers that throw me into panic states as well. I never had heard about that regarding the Columbine survivor though. Interesting and extremely wild odds.

No.1006

>>984
get some exercise. you dont even have to go outside. do some pushups and squats. at least open a window though

No.1007

>>1004
I'd give you a source but I can't seem to find it, so I sure hope I wasn't accidentally giving false information. Anyway, my therapist does phone calls and not video calls. Is it possible you can ask them to do a phone call instead since you can't do video calls?

>>1006
Exercise really helps tbh but my kneecaps absolutely despise squats. I end up doing yoga a lot of the time and then walking on the treadmill. Works just as good for me.

No.1015

>>1007
I'm too scared about the phone calls being recorded. I probably wouldn't really talk about anything specific or be truthful being on the phone.

No.1035

>>984
most of your paranoid/anxious thinking will be solved by just eating food. yeah, exercise is good too as other anons have said, but eating is primarily important. second is sleep. third is exercise.



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