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File: 1512787061944.jpg (21.88 KB, 390x480, Madotsuki.jpg)

No. 270

How many of you guys are hikkis? It is not something I am proud of personally, yet, it's only been about a month into my second relapse. Have any of you been through this, and have you any advice?

No.271

File: 1512951492094.jpg (74.17 KB, 640x640, 1481856496109.jpg)

I've been there, and from what I can tell the answer is different with different people.

For me I am rather narcissistic, personality-wise (its taken me some time to realize/come to terms with this) and one thing that led to a better situation with me was that one day I stopped, looked around, and became absolutely disgusted with my life and what I had made of it. Anytime I would be tired and try to sink into a time-wasting habit like video games I would stop, force myself to remember how disgusted I was with myself, and this anger and discomfort would motivate me to get off my ass and do things like force myself to get outside, exercise, apply for jobs, self-improvement, break down my finances, etc.

The key thing for me was that I had begun to slip into not seeing reality. I imagined myself to be this funny, cool, intelligent guy who was just stuck in a rut, but that didn't reflect reality anymore. Bad things happened, but at some point I had stopped trying and was in a hell of my own making. Once I realized this I was able to slowly but surely move forward and cut out habits that weren't good for me, eventually becoming proud of myself again, for who I actually am.

No.272

File: 1512951520088.jpg (7.68 KB, 228x222, 1477772636767.jpg)

BUT,
I've known other people who genuinely always believed themselves to be irredeemable people, they believed that they deserved to be lonely and useless. If you're in a situation like that, channeling anger and disgust will only hurt you, or push you to hurt yourself.

I believe it is every person's responsibility to love themselves, and care for themselves. There is no one who can understand you better than yourself, and you are the answer to most of your problems. Things YOU can do will help and save you, so what use is it to be self-degrading? What use is it to wish to be someone else? You should have a mindset of self-improvement and acceptance. Some things you should learn to accept about yourself and love, like quirks, aggressiveness or passiveness, odd interests, etc. while other things about yourself you should seek to change, like healthiness, motivation, etc.

Remember, If you're on your way to a good place, you're already in a good place. Learn to love the small victories and the relative progress. Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to what you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year. Every day you spend with a good attitude and the desire to move forward should be considered a victory, no matter how far you think you still have to go.

No.273

File: 1513012542139.jpg (60.21 KB, 587x639, keep it together.jpg)

This christmas theme is amazing!!!!

For a moment I thought I was on Uboachan…

When my one normalfag friend brings his fiance over from signapore and they start hanging out together without me (he will certainly hold her over me) I will be a full hikki, but not a NEET because I am a wageslave working mostly 7 days a week, including holidays.

My problem is that I'm bordering normalfaggotry and NEETdom, and so I fit in with neither group, am successful at neither endeavor, and so nobody in either group has any sympathy for me. It's kind of a bad feel.

No.274

File: 1513019415642.jpg (58.37 KB, 800x615, 47dfd635d020021e0a45ce5e72….jpg)

>>273
…are you me?

No.275

File: 1513028373639.jpg (96.87 KB, 600x805, yuki-onna.jpg)

>>273
Being a hikki/NEET is more of an archetype or trope than anything. anyone can relate to it at some point and no one is either forever, generally.

No.281

I've been stuck at home without a job for over half a year now.

I hate it.

NEETdom is really disappointing. The faster I'm out of here the better.

No.282

>>281
Are you having a hard time finding one or is something holding you back?

No.283

>>270
For the most part yes, I've been slipping away more and more from society since June of 2011 after a traumatic experience where my life was threatened by a group of people who tried to chase me down with knives over me texting the "leader's" girlfriend. Who was an ex of mine. I was outgoing and everything till that moment. It completely changed me for the worst. I couldn't trust people anymore and it brought on strong social anxiety.

>>281
I've been a NEET for really four years now. I tried working two jobs since then, in 2015 I worked for about three weeks at a Krogers till social anxiety kicked in and I literally freaked out, walked out, and walked home. Then in 2016 I actually tried working at a call center I thought "I'm not in the general public, this should be pretty good" But ended up getting the flu after the first week and missed too many days during my training, they said they'd give me another chance when the next group starts. But got screwed over and then they told me 90 days, then I kept trying to get back over there till around June of this year I finally gave up and actually have putting in applications. But I'm not sure how I'd end up doing if I actually get hired and try to work in the general public again. Will I have a freak out, or will somehow I be able to handle it. I'm not quite sure. But it fucking sucks feeling like this and being so pathetic. Hell I don't even have my driver's license because I'm too terrified to drive.

No.285

>>283
>social anxiety kicked in and I literally freaked out, walked out, and walked home
I can relate to this. I pretty much bailed on all 3 jobs i've had because it freaked me out. Which makes me wonder maybe it has something to do with trauma, too..

No.286

>>285
I would honestly say that trauma definitely plays a role and is probably the primary reason one would shut themselves away from the rest of the physical world. We seek online refuge because to us it's "safe".

No.287

>>282
I had a mental breakdown that sent me to the hospital. Before that I didn't have a job partly because it became really difficult for me to do. I'm a programmer, but for some reason I just couldn't concentrate enough to program well anymore and I lost confidence in my skills. I would be good for maybe 3-4 hours, then after that I was useless. I started stretching deadlines and getting pressure from my manager and it became overwhelming so I quit.

I just started applying to jobs recently, but it's bad timing around the holidays.

>>283
After my breakdown I have difficulty driving. I get bad intrusive thoughts that freak me out and distract me, which is dangerous. But there are good days when I can drive no problem.
Have you driven much before? I remember when I first started learning, I was white-knuckle driving all the time. That went away and I relaxed after a couple weeks of forcing myself to drive.

No.289

>>287
I haven't driven a whole bunch, I mainly drove back in 2009 with a learners for about a month till an incident happened where a drunk driver hit me and knocked me off the road. Luckily I was able to handle myself and keep the car in control and get back on the road to pull over in a empty lot a little ways up the road. It fucked with my head because of losing friends to car accidents. But we handled the information, I was a total wreck afterwards though. Ironically this was on the way to take my driver's test. Which I got back in the car and drove the rest of the way to the DMV. There I proceeded to attempt my driver's test. But I was so badly shaken up I was a mess. I couldn't even parallel park. Which was and is something that I have trouble with. I have no depth perception what so ever which I believe is my main problem with driving along with the anxiety.

No.290

>>287
After that day I didn't drive again till 2011 when I was with a group of people at a bar drinking I only had one beer so I was sober enough but didn't even have a learners and the friends I was with was way too drunk to drive so I lied and said I had my license (they didn't know) I was worried about them killing me. I drove awful and very slow but luckily for me they were too drunk to notice how bad I was doing I probably only had about a 4 mile drive on a back road till we got to their house. Next I drove once in 2012 as a friend insisted that I gave it a try, I freaked out as a cop drove past me again I didn't have a learners besides the driver was only 19 and not old enough to count anyway. And finally I drove again earlier this year. I got my learners in August so now at 27 years old I freaked out every time I got behind the wheel and tried to test again but I didn't even drive to the DMV out of fear of what happened last time I did. I ended up waiting too long to take the test didn't realize my last day was the day before and had to take the learners test over and I failed that. I don't think there's any hope for me with driving.

No.291

more common in women, but anyone became a hikki because of hair loss or any other appearance disorder?

i don't like how i look and i don't want to be seen at all

No.292

>>291
No but I am petrified of hair loss

Honestly if it got to the point of balding I would just shave my head fully and wear a nice ball cap. I think full bald looks way better than bald on top

No.293

>>292
yeah, it's just that I'm too immature to do it

i'm 20 and been going bald since 16 since god hates me i guess, and i have the social maturity of a 14 year old. it's ridiculously embarrassing to me to the point where id rather just give up than try to live any semblance of a normal life. i'm pretty sure its a 1 in 1000 chance to start losing hair at the same time i did

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ezHBwQ-rt4

i'm trying to get something like this though but its expensive and has to be replaced every couple of months

No.305

File: 1518076966293.gif (505.96 KB, 273x335, 5a2c34677a3110bbd06193b07e….gif)

I will stop being a NEET next week, I'm really anxious (not in the good way), I'm a college dropout and after a year being a NEET, I'm starting college again, well sort of, I really need to get high grades but I don't know if I will be able to get them, I might fucked my sleep schedule, and my brain too.

Any advice?

No.308

>>305
Are you starting at a local/community college or a full on university? I love the community college system in my area because it was inexpensive, the teaching quality was actually quite good, and it gave me the time I needed to personally develop the skills I needed to succeed in school. It took me two years of going there before I started to figure out how to seriously apply myself to school in general, and then I went to a trade school and right off the bat was getting As in the practical and theory classes, because I had the educational momentum as a boost. If a lot of debt is on the line, I duno, might be good to look into something like that? Don't do for-profit anything though, obviously.

No.309

>>305
It's okay anon, you just gotta keep trying.
Why did you drop out the first time?

No.310

File: 1518208246734.jpg (8.71 KB, 302x225, ad68fcca15300a650c14ee8139….jpg)

>>308
We don't have 'Community college' here, but it isn't a full career either, it's a 'pre' if that makes any sense, it's just one semesters, if you do really well and get high grades you get in the career, but usually only 5 or 8 students actually pass, even if I don't get the grades to pass I need to high grades or else I will fuck my chances to get a career even more.
I'm already on debt, is not too big, but I feel useless letting my parents pay everything, now they have to pay my education again and keep paying my debt.
>>309
I chose a career that wasn't reciprocal to my skills, I wasn't doing good, and I got really depressed, I hated that career, that, and my own laziness made me dropout.
I'm a failure.

But this time I want to the right thing, I don't to feel depressed again, or fail miserably like the last time.
/blog

No.311

>>310
It's more common than you think to not get it right the first time. You are fortunate to have your parents pay for your mistakes and you really shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's what they're there for.
Vocational training tends to be pretty cheap if there's something that you want to do relating to that.

No.347

File: 1527778572577.jpg (21.64 KB, 580x326, ddce40b856586eaebbac540381….jpg)

Here we are, again. For the fifth time in 2 years I am again hikki/neet. I feel like such a disgrace.

No.348

File: 1527865195319.jpg (40.49 KB, 598x798, 1364034649058.jpg)

>>347
Honestly, anon. I've got a "real" job, and it's just sinking in more and more lately that I just do not fucking fit in anywhere I go. Everyone at work is either a sportsball normalfag or even worse a youtube memelord, who are arguably worse, because they corrode the sanctity of the internet itself. Wish you the best anon. I still hang on to hope that someday I can have a happy and peaceful life in spite of the fact that nobody else seems to want to given their decision-making.

No.349

File: 1527873213212.jpg (80.53 KB, 900x900, 460d128f8d760a347087e03180….jpg)

>>348
That's exactly how I feel. I just don't know whether it has more to do with us as outsiders or if it has more to do with modern society at large.
When I'm working, it gives me in illusion of having a purpose.. but it's really just a distraction from the reality that I have no real future. Soon enough I'll get bored again and search for employment, and again the perpetual cycle of 'need for purpose' and 'need for rest' will continue.

No.350

File: 1527874388186.jpg (310.37 KB, 1600x1200, 1316182420128.jpg)

>>349
It makes me think of how "today is yesterday's future." I hoped for a future years ago, and here I am. This is it. "It doesn't get better unless we 'make' it better, right?" Wrong. We can't make anything better, we can only change ourselves, and then we're just better versions of ourselves in a world that's still shit.

No.351

>>350
>in a world that's still shit.

I mean aside from birds, of course. BAVI.

No.352

I wish I wasn't a NEET, I wish I wasn't a Hikki,I wish I wasn't a gross abomination born in the wrong body, I wish I wasn't born to the wrong family in the wrong country in the wrong era in time… it's all wrong. And I never wanted any of it.

No.353

>>352
And yet, everyone suffers in this way, only our masks, lies, and "feel good" escapist coping mechanisms hide it from sight. We are just more honest people, that we show it.

No.441

I occasionally slip into non-reality and live in my imagination due to the isolation and free time. I don't know how much time has passed since I started hikkidom, almost a year? a year? Time just passes so quickly now and functioning normally seems only slightly possible

No.442

File: 1543359931875.jpg (1.11 MB, 1036x1200, 1514528136672.jpg)

I'm OP and >>347
Reading through this thread is so comfy. I'm working again and I have been enjoying it. It makes a big difference to be able to relate to your coworkers and be friends with them. Sure, it helps to live in an area with a lot of fellow weirdos. A few years ago, I never would have thought I'd come this far in overcoming my social anxiety. It does get easier to interact with people, and the physical human interaction has a profound impact on your mental health. We're all gonna make it anons.

No.443

File: 1543371935773.png (35.47 KB, 307x267, 4e74938ac82b228484ed31d015….png)

>>442
Glad to hear fren.

No.535

File: 1561243583458.jpg (47.61 KB, 389x336, androgyny.jpg)

>>442
Another update. I was promoted at my job. I have so many new people in my life that I love. I feel so validated and my newfound creative energy has been overwhelming. I finally feel like I'm at the wheel of my own life.

No.536

File: 1561504340279.jpg (127.7 KB, 919x640, 1436134194295.jpg)

>>535
Hold onto this joy, and save a little bit of this cheer for when the dark times come. Congratulations, anon - not because of your promotion, but because the promotion is a symptom of a greater accomplishment - that you are continuing to grow.

Blogpost time:
I recently gave some thoughtful gifts that brought a smile to the face of a controversial co-worker who is commonly disliked. I was thinking what people might say - "but she's a crazy bitch" etc, and I thought that the difference between crazy bitch and crazy bitch in progress, in the sense of "Work in Progress" is an entire world of difference, but I can see that she is very much a bitch in progress, so I was happy to make her smile, just like I would be happy to make you smile if I worked around you, anon.

No.551

File: 1565408057065.jpg (235.94 KB, 959x639, 298eaa788daf05f90624d4193d….jpg)

>>310 here.
One year later. so I went to this per-course and I have to say did well, better than I expected, my grades were really good and I was among the best students of the course, it felt nice to be honest, sadly I didn't get in. I went back to being a Hikkikomori another year, in the last months I found some motivation because I started teaching English to my cousins, I really had fun with them, now I got into a nice university, but sincerely I don't want to go, I don't want to feel the pressure and the anxiety of college again, I don't even want to study that career-path, I don't know what to do with my life, I don't have dreams, or goals anymore, I don't have anything honestly I just want to die.

This is probably my last day as a Hikkikomori for the rest of my life, I'm getting too old now, the thought of having to spend the next 5 years of my life in this degree with almost no rest sickens me, sorry I might have become a lazy piece of shit, but being a NEET/Hikki were probably the times when I feel better in my life, not having to worry about anything is just a bless, I know it's escapism, but I seriously doubt I will feel this peace in the rest of my life, If I somehow could stay as a NEET for the rest of my life without having to worry about anything, I will take it, no matter what.

Anyway, sorry for the blog, apparently this is my last day as a Hikki/NEET for the rest of my life (maybe not), perhaps this is for the better, perhaps not, who knows. I'll make sure to report you guys in some years.
Sorry for the blog, I had to get it off of my chest.

No.552

>>535
I feel proud of you anon, keep it up.

No.556

I have fallen back into NEETdom along with being a hikki. I'm 8½ months in. The only times I even go outside is to do mandatory yard work or be faced with a fine and/or being kicked out which I specifically do it when none of my neighbors are outside or even home then I take out the trash and go to my appointments. Other than that I'm usually inside mostly in my room. I seriously want to start trying to slowly improve myself and break this continuing habit. I'm not so much worried about work but hating that I'm at the point where I can't even go attempt to make any friends somewhere. Or try to find a sense of community IRL. I'm also sick of lacking experiences and losing all motivation and desire for anything as well as everything crumbling around me.

-Part 1 out of 2.

No.557

I'm starting to get old into my early 30s now and I simply can't function in society. I'm trying to better myself at least mentally for the time being by seeing a psychologist. But of course it was given to me as an ultimatum in my current situation or be kicked out dealing with homelessness. I wish for once I'd feel a sense of true care from my family instead of being put off living with someone else who most of the time I feel as she hates me. If they would have truly been able to recognize my problems as a kid/teenager and even during my early adulthood. Maybe I could have went through the proper channels of help and be in at least a stable mindset. Possibly receiving NEETbux. I'm already being suspected of having ASD which I'm more than already certain is probably the reality of my situation. I have so many of the symptoms and traits which has been with me as far back as I can remotely remember. Personally I'm open to any comments or advice that someone has to give. I've been through a lot of trauma and comments like "man up" or something along those lines are literally impossible for me and I've heard them a million times.

-Part 2 out of 2.

No.558

Like the anon above, I too will be reintegrating into society soon. After having lost all my friends and all semblance of a normal life, I have hope that maybe things will pan out this time. I love u anons

No.559

>>558
Honestly most days I don't even want to truly integrate back into society.
I'd rather be able to figure out some way to make money online.
Have a small social circle.
Have a couple of internet communities to be a part of. (Obviously not on social media)
And just have a comfortable small living space that's enough for me and my belongings
Enjoy things until I eventually succumb to death.
I'm a simple man with simple pleasures.

No.560

>>557
>trauma

Anon, I am so sorry to hear about that. I feel very lucky that I've always been around people who were pretty traumatized themselves, and so we bonded very specially over that shared pain. If you'd be willing to share anything about it, I hope you will take the opportunity to do so here.

I'll start:

My relationship with women is very complicated, and the problems - as for many of us - start early on. My older sister was my best friend, and she died when I was six, leaving me alone in the apartment with my parents - an ex coke/crack-head alcoholic father, and a severely emotionally damaged and near-psychotic mother. For better or worse, they ignored me a lot, so I learned the value of learning to be alone. The problem was that my mother would frequently burst into my room while I was sleeping crying about her marraige or her lost daughter, and so I now always take the role of "therapist" and that has attracted very emotionally damaged women - like my mother - into my life.
(1/2)

No.561

>>560
(2/2)
One result of this is that as a sexually immature (not even masturbating yet) young teenager, I was molested by one of the said emotionally damaged older women, and let me tell you, in the moment I was terrified. I was so scared I couldn't move, and I felt filthy afterward. But I internalized it and thought that was just how relationships were supposed to be, and I went on to hurt an innocent woman myself no, not rape or anything, just sort of pretending to like her and being intimate for the wrong reasons, which really really hurt her feelings. I'd become what I hated, and again, let me tell you, it isn't as easy as it reads in the doujins - it feels fucking terrible, you question your own ability to feel love, think you're a filthy fucking abomination who destroys good things, attracts bad things, and deserves nothing but bad things, and frequently (again, people in my circle) become depressed and suicidal, because your ability to have relationships with women is fucking broken, but because you've gotten
>hurr muh dik
you don't fit in with the wizards, and you don't fit in with the chads. You are an outcast, unfit, unwanted, and in-between groups. It may not seem like a big deal at all, but it has haunted me for years. I know I am very fortunate in most other respects, but I do not think I will ever be happy and have a family, so I feel like I am still below the worth of the normalfags. I don't want to go outside and be with people. They hate me, and I hate them, because I hurt.

No.606

>>551
Wish I'd seen this earlier, anon.

Life is suffering - that's just how life itself is. The thing is that we're actually capable of withstanding it - just look, you're still alive. You might not be having fun or enjoying yourself, but isn't it fair to accept SOME amount of responsibility for that? I would think so - it's not like EVERYthing is out of your control to change. And if you have some responsibility for things, then that means you have the power to change them. So I hope you picked something job-wise that you can simply tolerate. Not enjoy - just tolerate, and that you're capable of doing, because that should prove to yourself that you're capable of more than you assumed you were capable of before, and then maybe you can eventually grow that seed of confidence (not bragging confidence, real objective confidence from the observation that you CAN succeed) and then maybe apply that momentum to something you might actually be slightly interested in doing, or at the very least, can tolerate a little more, while being able to fund your hobbies and interests.

You CAN do it, anon. You just have to choose to work for it. But you DO have the ability - there's no denying that.

No.626

File: 1579095220928.jpg (113.94 KB, 1000x1080, golden-egyptian-scarab-bee….jpg)

>>561
Dude that sounds like stuff you have to see a therapist for. And maybe report the woman to be safe

No.629

Honestly, guys, I feel like I'm going nowhere. I've got nothing to do. I don't know what I want to do actually. I don't really have any interests (at least any that are beneficial in the current world). I feel like there's no where for me to go. People don't really want me around. I've found that most people don't really care about me much and that they are more annoyed by me than anything because I "act like [I] have tourettes" or something else dumb like that. I've never been able to maintain a positive state of mind or a friend group, so how could I possibly hope to maintain a job and keep a home and all that? I don't really know what to do from here. I'm sorry this was such a mess.

No.633

>>629
Aw man, don't talk like that. There's something for everyone :)

No.636

>>633
It really doesn't seem like it, man.

No.644

File: 1579551560099.jpg (184.73 KB, 720x1080, py5fv1PFnr1w2kjddo1_1280.jpg)

>>535
update. relapsed into neetdom, i at least try to leave my room and have a couple IRL friends. i completely burned the bridge i constructed over the past 2 years at my job. i had this delusion that i needed to destroy part of myself to find my way to the Threshold (the space between how things were and how things will be) in order to really understand who I am. we will see how things turn out.

No.645

>>644
sorry anon, what did you do to burn this bridge at work?

No.646

>>645
the person i was working with, i told them it was my last day, handed in my key, and left without saying a word more

No.647

>>645
Why did you quit, man? It sounded like stuff was going great

No.648

>>647
i don't know, i became more and more miserable with each day. i couldn't stand to be around the customers any longer, i couldn't stand to be in the cold weather. in hind-sight, i should have just asked for a week off, to collect myself, and it would have been granted more than likely. however i was acting out of a fantasy in which i would just end my life if things got too bad. it's like i've learned nothing since the last time this has happened to me. all that can be done is continue foward

No.649

>>648
yeah, for the future time off can really heal burnout, but if you absolutely hated the job at its core it’s a bandaid. what was the nature of your work?

No.650

>>648
dude you should tell someone if youre acting out that fantasy
do you have any other jobs in mind?

No.651

>>649
>>650
it was retail. even from the beginning, it wasn't grounded in any sort of grand vision for my future. i always told people that I was working there because i 'have nothing else to do,' and i guess it was true. i don't have any other jobs in mind, i might look into trade school through a union/student loans. my last resort is to just join the military.

No.685

File: 1580201124939.jpg (549.59 KB, 600x848, b18d9f9092975.560c8571de28….jpg)

Have any of you guys earned money from home? Like through the internet?

No.687

File: 1580208519889.png (385.45 KB, 634x347, 5.png)

>>270
Been there for more years than should be allowed. My life is beyond recovery, I forgot how to human.
I try not to think about it, and only leave a half an hour window of high density worry near bedtime.

No.691

>>687
life is never beyond recovery man

No.694

>>685
I used to make money on mTurk but it isn't viable anymore. Especially for newcomers.

No.695

My life has taken quite a turn for the worst. My gf broke up with me. We were together for 3 years. We had plans to actually get married. One day things were fine and then they weren't. She was the only reason that I was able to cover all of the costs of living because my job pays me fuck all. I quit my job as well. I don't know why, I just felt overwhelmed by everything and left. I don't have a driver's license, I hadn't needed it in the past and I'm just scared to drive. I'm stuck on square one again. What do I even do? I'm not cut out for society. I don't think I'm even cut out for this world.

No.696

>>695
can i recommend 12 rules for life by jordan peterson? it is known for helping people out of holes like this
read this summary
https://www.nateliason.com/notes/12-rules-for-life-jordan-peterson

No.697

>>696
I'll check it out. Thanks, anon.

No.698

>>697
wait before you do
i hesitated recommending that because rule 6 is super depressing. if you look at it surface level it seems like hes saying some horrible horrible stuff. please dont look at it surface level

No.699

>>698
Ok, thank you

No.710

>>696
YIKES

No.711

>>710
Why yikes?

No.712

>>710
why yikes anon?!?!!?!?!

No.713

I've been a hikki for a while now and it sucks. My whole family now wants me to get a job and work but I know that no one will hire me for a decent one and all the shitty sub-par jobs are taken by immigrants, I don't see the point in struggling with a job hunt either

I want to just earn money through the internet because it pays as much as a real job and I don't have to go on interviews and pretend to be some professional workaholic ready to kiss ass.

I don't mind working all day every day but I want independence and the ability to work on my own terms.

No.723

Most of you need a friend.

No.728

>>723
That's why this >>668 thread exists.

No.744

>>728
I meant the real friends. The ones that will support you in many ways.

No.753

File: 1580907930409.jpg (222.41 KB, 1080x1350, live.jpg)

I've been slowly healing a bit, trying to exercise and get outside when I can, at least to walk around the block. These cold first months of the year make it especially hard to feel warm. I've been talking with fellow NEETs, and a couple IRL friends, but I cannot shake my image of the dismal future. I think in the near future we will all face the problem of existential mass-assimilation and mass-unemployment. Will we come out OK in the end? Will we come out alive? I like to hope so.

No.754

>>753
dont worry about extermination. the economy is only growing and no country wants to start wars anymore. global warming wont hit us as had as you probably think or anything… if there was an impending crisin in the next 300 years, the media would be making a huge deal about it.
plus, technological advancements are only helping us in these matters
dont worry

No.757

File: 1580916771845.jpeg (45.55 KB, 474x537, bigdogturret.jpeg)

On and off hikki here. I remember reading an article on solitary confinement, and how it constituted torture, and they had this list of psychological symptoms. When I read it I realized I had like half of them from being a hikki. Like bursts of rage and fear, paranoid thinking, loss of mental acuity, reduction in verbal ability, and such. Anyone else notice symptoms from being a long term hikki?


>>754
Not him, but I share his fears.

Global warming is absolutely going to by itself cause massive strife in the global south (genocides, food and water wars, etc) and some of that will spill over into the north. However the real problem if you live in the northern hemisphere is automation. Based on the last decade of advancement in AI it probably will only take a few similar decades of advancement before large swaths of the population have no economic value whatsoever. I don't think that the powers that be will keep us around once we've outlived our usefulness. AI powered surveillance and AI powered weapons will make killing us all off a breeze. It's pretty much checkmate at this point. We're fucked six ways from Sunday wwwwwwwwwwww

No.759

>>757
I don't like to argue man. But you're wrong. Automation is definitely not going to pass - Tucker Carlson did an awesome interview about this. He said there is no way AI trucks will be a thing. Not only are they dangerous and unpredictable, but they'll rob a very large population of truck drivers' jobs. There's no point - there are only negative effects from it. Plus, a genuine AI that is like a human and has a conscious and subconscious and emotions is impossible.
Global warming is an issue but not so much of an issue that we'll all die. Every 10 years the water levels rise by an inch. That doesn't mean we'er all screwed. At worst we might lose some species but were losing them rapidly anyway. That's not so say that its OK, but that its happening and we're fine.
Overpopulation isn't an issue. Jordan Peterson says that people are incredibly resourceful and we're just gonna keep finding use for ourselves. Plus, there's a ridiculous amount of free space. If we wanted we could all pile into California or something - everyone in the world can fit in the Grand Canyon. By the time there are so many of us that it becomes uncontrollable, which, with technological advancements, will be delayed, we will have comforting housing on Mars and other planets. We can just keep expanding.

I really don't like to argue. I just want to dissolve some anxiety about the state of the world.

No.761

File: 1580920135615.png (1.2 MB, 1000x1500, Digit_with_box.png)

>>759
I also don't really want to argue here and ruin the mood of this site, but I have to say I think what you are saying is absolutely dead wrong. Though I won't pursue the matter further.

No.763

>>759
Is Tucker Carlson a soothsayer now or something? I'm sorry but the idea that at an industry would avoid continuing development on a potentially very profitable and efficient technology simply because people would lose their jobs is pretty far fetched. There has been one form of his argument or another at every iteration of mass job automation. Factory line robots, self-checkouts/other automated kiosks, accounting/bookkeeping software, etc.

No.764

>>763
the gov would outlaw automatic cars and stuff under pretenses that its dangerous where the real reason is that the economic blow would be devestating

No.765

>>764
Hoping for the government to intervene against free market innovation? Wow, it really has been a long time since I've watched Tucker Carlson. Also, as their operating margins would improve based on the fact they aren't paying/insuring all of those truckers, stock prices would surge in the shipping and shipping adjacent industries (which most industries rely on shipping). Unless we finally concede that the stock market is not indicative of financial prosperity for the average American (something I don't think will happen) I'm not sure how much hope we have.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't want mass unemployment, I just don't have faith in any positive intervention.

No.766

File: 1580925693098.jpg (109.23 KB, 728x1077, b6919190a4599f53a8ce9423a4….jpg)

Automation is a problem? lmao, should we ban tractors and tools so that people dig for potatoes with their bare hands?
>but at least there will more jobs

This is the level of intelligence we are dealing with. Every low IQ pleb fancies themselves an economist these days. They wouldn't dare operate on their own mothers if they got a life threatening disease, or even fix something in their own home without calling a technician, but they think they know how a first-world country's economy should be micro-managed, or which special combination of laws, taxes, and regulations would create an ideal society. Hilarious. Keep trying to play God while shilling for socialists and opportunistic politicians.

All these mass-extinctions, mass-assimilations, mass-unemployments, mass-whatevers… you get what you asked for. This is natural selection at work. This is the archetypal flood myth that was talked about in every culture since the beginning of history in which only those who are ready and responsible enough will survive and the rest will drown. The biggest tragedy is that innocent people will also be harmed, by your reckless inability to learn from history, but hopefully after many such cruel restarts there will be a more refined, more evolved humanity with less of the defective genes that led to these catastrophes. Maybe people in the future will look at today's humans the same way we look at monkeys in the zoo with their petty shitflinging rituals.

No.767

This is the point in the thread where I think everyone just needs to take a walk outside for 20 mins, it’s a beautiful day!

No.768

wasnt this thread about hikkis? how did we get to this point

No.769

>>766
But you're not one of those low IQ plebs, right anon? :)

No.770

>>769
hes a genius

No.771

>>770
i don't even disagree with him about automation, but yeah he's too smart for us

No.772

File: 1580943722537.jpg (7.71 KB, 500x500, peace-button.jpg)

guys its not his fault, he probably just came from 4chan. give him some time to assimilate
plus, our arguments probably sound pretty stupid when you step back and look at it lol

No.854

>>772
Is this site being advertised on 4chan? I sure hope not. I mean, maybe on slower and calmer boards like /ck/ or /an/, MAYBE.

No.878

>>551
Good luck my dude I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-p_0FDlpkw&t=159s

No.884

File: 1588727728049.jpg (32.62 KB, 704x541, 95283431_259789828488929_5….jpg)

>>551
Ive been coming into this thread every other week or so to see if you put an update. Ive never been so attatched to some random dude on the internet. Keep fighting for what you want im still cheering for you.

No.885

>>884
god bless you, i hope you yourself are well

No.891

>>691
Months later… it is. I can't get back up on my own anymore and I'm beyond the help I could get or afford with the resources I have.
I got in touch with the friends I left behind when my depression started, almost 10 years ago. I was given a chance. It happened right before the epidemic so people wanted to talk, and I couldn't say anything to them. I hinted that I had issues but they though I could just get back into the heat of things and be social and funny like I used to be. They gave up on me pretty quick. I'm hollowed out.
I'm stuck on the internet which used to be the place where I could be more of a weirdo, but now is something I can't even recognize. Any pursuit that would put me in touch with people just seems meaningless, I keep asking myself what do I even do it for. There are things I used to love doing and being online has beaten all the enthusiasm out of me. The only way I can see of saving myself is pack it up and fly to another city and hope I can reset my life entirely, but I'm broke and I doubt I would be able to pull myself up by the shoestrings.
It was already terrible when I made that post but it gets worse every day and it's not going to stop anytime soon. I can't even sleep anymore. At this rate I'm going to fall apart on my own before I get to do something stupid.

No.892

File: 1590339912744.jpg (81.43 KB, 807x735, skeptic.jpg)

>>711
>>712
JP is bad self-help: heavily Christianity-based with "it's all your fault" undertones. Not to mention his other fringe views: https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Jordan_Peterson
He himself ended up heavily depressed and addicted to benzos, right now he's in a medically induced coma in some quack clinic in Russia.

If you want to improve something, I'd suggest to try:
1. Cognitive-behavioral therapy that aims to rewrite your habitual patterns of thinking that may be harmful. The book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" is the classics, with daily exercises included. You can also find books specifically focused on social anxiety.

2. Mindfulness & meditation to stabilize and relax the mind. "Headspace" is good but mostly paid, "Insight Timer" has dozens of free guided meditation courses from different meditation teachers (quality may vary significantly). When it comes to books, there are "The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Social Anxiety and Shyness", "The Mindful Way through Depression".

No.893

File: 1590339928415.png (284.02 KB, 475x750, watch_your_mind.png)

3. The Buddhist teachings are aimed to stop suffering ("pain is inevitable, suffering is optional") and after a few years of practicing, I can confirm they *do* reduce it a lot by changing the attitudes we picked from the normie society that is obsessed with the normie (mostly materialistic) values.

The practice itself is all about watching your mind and intentions, while trying not to entangle yourself with more troubles by acting skillfully. The goal is to achieve the unconditioned happiness, i.e. being happy regardless of the external events that the world sends towards you.

Start here, the whole site is helpful:
https://www.dhammatalks.org/ebook_index.html#BuddhasTeachings - a short overview of the whole teaching
https://www.dhammatalks.org/mp3_short_index.html - short talks to listen in the beginning of meditation
https://www.dhammatalks.org/mp3_collections_index.html#basics - longer talks to listen along with the meditation

I understand it maybe not for everybody but whatever you choose, may you be happy, anon!

No.900

>>892
I'm the anon above who said "Yikes" and you perfectly summed up all of my problems with this man and his book. Thank you for providing the op with a collection of genuine, science-backed literature and resources which will help them in the long-run. I appreciate the time you took to write that post and actually attempt to help someone. Everyone here could benefit from your post. You have my respect.

No.904

>>893
following through on these links i've always been interested in Buddhism but never looked in to it much past a handful of youtube videos, sounds nice though

No.925

>>891
I'm sorry to hear that man, your story sounds a lot like mine. How are you holding up?

Do you have any support, family or otherwise?
Have you tried medical help? Is that accessible where you live? Antidepressants are far from great, but in a desperate situation, they can help restart things.

No.926

>>271
>>272
I really needed this. Thank you.

No.927

>>900
Thank you, glad to help!

>>904
Mind that despite the shared goals and values, Buddhism can be very different in attitudes and practices between the schools. I checked different ones (started with Tibetan, peeked into Zen) and ended up with the Thai Forest Tradition linked above because they:

1. Feel the most down-to-earth, pragmatic and "academic", with the least "religious" vibe (compared to something like Tibetan schools full of mysticism and gods or poetical and lofty Zen);

2. Are the closest to the early Buddhism both in theory (focusing on the Pali Canon and meditation while ignoring many later additions) and in practice (the tradition is actually "anti-Thai" and was started by dedicated ascetic monks who were going deep into the jungle to avoid the laid-back clerical lifestyle in the cities).

I'd still recommend therapy for depression/anxiety/etc. because self-managing them is hard while a trained therapist can help to navigate those issues from the 3rd person view. Still, Buddhist mind training works well as a complementary approach, and while therapy helps to get back to what could be called "the ordinary level of unhappiness", the Buddha taught methods to go beyond this level and achieve the unconditioned happiness that comes from within the mind.

No.941

File: 1594232895568.jpg (75.18 KB, 564x805, declaration.jpg)

>>892
Jordan Peterson is interesting to listen to, but, yeah, I wouldn't recommend anyone use his philosophy as a replacement for real therapy.

thread OP here. just got a new part-time job, and I'm starting community college this fall. I get to do almost all my classes online, a great way to ease back into things. i'm pretty excited and hopeful this time around.

No.950

>>941
I actually ended listening to his conferences in Youtube thanks to this thread, he seem like a really nice guy.

No.952

>>950
In what way did he come across as a """nice guy""" to you?

No.953

>>952
I feel like listening to my father when I listen him.

No.963

>>925
>I'm sorry to hear that man, your story sounds a lot like mine. How are you holding up?
Same as years ago. I'm waiting till my anchors are gone so I can go too.
>Do you have any support, family or otherwise?
Not really and things are getting exponentially worse post-corona. Health and economic issues.
>Have you tried medical help? Is that accessible where you live? Antidepressants are far from great, but in a desperate situation, they can help restart things.
I am not going to see a doctor ever again. I am tired of being told I am the problem and that somehow I have deluded myself that life is unbearably painful when it's not. This life is clearly something I don't want. There is nothing I can do in this life that would give me purpose or happiness. All my dreams have been shattered one by one. I thought the internet would have given me an opportunity but it's straight up impossible to do what I would have liked to do. I do not want to become yet another zombie working some shitty retail job while chugging antidepressants. I would rather die while I am free.
I had asked for so little, I even prayed, I earnestly kneeled and prayed to a God I didn't believe in, to have something back for all the shit I've been through. Nothing, it was too much to ask.
This might be my last post, I'm done with imageboards.

No.967

File: 1597088319283.jpg (213.01 KB, 1920x1080, cbea1ba383d386d1e169212800….jpg)

>>551 here.
One year later. I'm my third semester now, I decided to go for a degree in Chemistry, first semester was ok, I had some of the best grade among my peers, and meet some friends, and actually got attention from a lot of girls which was a surprise to be honest, (I end up loosing my V-card, but I'm not very proud of the whole thing) second semester was meh I'm back to being friendless and with the Corona outbreak I'm back to my home not quite as a Hikki but at least I'm comfy, now I'm starting the third hopefully every will be fine this semester, a part of me wants to stay at home for the rest of the uni, to be honest there's nothing that attach me to the Uni and specially the city I have to move in order to go to college, even if Virtual classes are a pain I still prefer to be in the commodity of my home.

I wish I had something more important to tell you guys, but haven't done anything more interesting beside studying, I got some ""friends"", and I got a short ""relation"" but now everything is back to normal, and that's much better, I have to confess that I still feel 0 passion or anything like that for my career path, but I noticed I'm better student that the average person, so I think I can manage my way through the rest of the semester.

In the mean time I have to tell you guys that I finally accomplished one of my long dreams that was to build a decent computer (I know, not much of a dream but I really wanted it), I saved for years and this year finally managed to built it.

I've been feeling a lack of motivation the last semester and I don't think it will go away anytime soon, but I'll be fine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNq4zqTN_DQ

No.968

>>884
Anon, your support almost make me tear up, but I don't think I deserve so much support from you, in the end I'm still a capable human been, my life hasn't been particularly hard, but I got into the Hikkikomori life-style for the same reasons most of the people get into that life-style, and my 'recovery' has been going if not well, at least decent.

In the end I'm just probably just another socially inept lazy scum (that's how I've been called), but hey, thanks for your support Anon, it really meant a lot to me, even if we are just strangers.

I hope your life is doing ok too, I'll cheer up for you too.
See you next year.



Thanks for listening, this be my last update for this year.
/blog

No.974

Not a hikki quite yet, but I am definitely a NEET, complete with SSI. I don't believe I'll ever fully be able to work because my public school teachers were so emotionally abusive that they purposely docked my grades. I can't even drive. I don't pay attention well enough.

I genuinely want to become better and live a life outside of being a NEET. It's my dream to open a little store where I sell handmade goods. No idea if I'll ever achieve it, but it's a nice thought to cling to when life gets rough.

No.976

I've rarely been a full hikki, since I would still be forced by my family to go to school or occasionally shopping, but I would become one on breaks and holidays. The closest I got to being a full one I suppose is 2 years ago when I lived away from home for the first time and spiraled into the worst depressive episode I've ever had. I stopped going to any of my classes through the middle of the semester and ate every single meal in bed. Essentially I only got up to shower and use the bathroom.

I think some bad life events that meant I would ultimately have to drop out of school if I continued being a hikki, such as my father refusing to support me financially at all anymore and my grandmother getting cancer (My mother decided to sell our house and leave the country to go care for her), made me start being more active in trying to get myself out of that lifestyle. I started self-studying Japanese, after having taken it for 4 years in high school, and it became a huge passion that I absorbed myself in learning all-day long. This was very important because up until then I don't think I had ever had a single thing in my life that I had been remotely passionate or disciplined enough to keep working at. I believe getting the discipline from that slowly started seeping improvements into other areas of my life, which is why the advice I always like to give now is to find a passion. It may sound like a tired cliche, but I do think it is extremely important to find some area or subject that you will do anything to get good at, so to speak. It can serve as a small light in your darkest tunnel.

No.1094

Recovering hiki here. I managed to get out of that lifestyle for awhile, but when the pandemic hit online classes and WFH job made me start relapsing. The most I've been going out is for grocery shopping once a week, but I started doing some stretches at home and now I'm trying to take a walk. It's calming and helps keep me active. I would say start small with basic at home stretches like I did, and that may start motivating you to go outside soon, as well.

No.1096

>>1094
the pandemic's lockdown order wreaked hell on so many people struggling emotionally/psychologically. im proud of your efforts, anon! do your best.



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