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I've been there, and from what I can tell the answer is different with different people.
For me I am rather narcissistic, personality-wise (its taken me some time to realize/come to terms with this) and one thing that led to a better situation with me was that one day I stopped, looked around, and became absolutely disgusted with my life and what I had made of it. Anytime I would be tired and try to sink into a time-wasting habit like video games I would stop, force myself to remember how disgusted I was with myself, and this anger and discomfort would motivate me to get off my ass and do things like force myself to get outside, exercise, apply for jobs, self-improvement, break down my finances, etc.
The key thing for me was that I had begun to slip into not seeing reality. I imagined myself to be this funny, cool, intelligent guy who was just stuck in a rut, but that didn't reflect reality anymore. Bad things happened, but at some point I had stopped trying and was in a hell of my own making. Once I realized this I was able to slowly but surely move forward and cut out habits that weren't good for me, eventually becoming proud of myself again, for who I actually am.
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I've known other people who genuinely always believed themselves to be irredeemable people, they believed that they deserved to be lonely and useless. If you're in a situation like that, channeling anger and disgust will only hurt you, or push you to hurt yourself.
I believe it is every person's responsibility to love themselves, and care for themselves. There is no one who can understand you better than yourself, and you are the answer to most of your problems. Things YOU can do will help and save you, so what use is it to be self-degrading? What use is it to wish to be someone else? You should have a mindset of self-improvement and acceptance. Some things you should learn to accept about yourself and love, like quirks, aggressiveness or passiveness, odd interests, etc. while other things about yourself you should seek to change, like healthiness, motivation, etc.
Remember, If you're on your way to a good place, you're already in a good place. Learn to love the small victories and the relative progress. Don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to what you were yesterday, last week, last month, last year. Every day you spend with a good attitude and the desire to move forward should be considered a victory, no matter how far you think you still have to go.
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This christmas theme is amazing!!!!
For a moment I thought I was on Uboachan…
When my one normalfag friend brings his fiance over from signapore and they start hanging out together without me (he will certainly hold her over me) I will be a full hikki, but not a NEET because I am a wageslave working mostly 7 days a week, including holidays.
My problem is that I'm bordering normalfaggotry and NEETdom, and so I fit in with neither group, am successful at neither endeavor, and so nobody in either group has any sympathy for me. It's kind of a bad feel.
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Being a hikki/NEET is more of an archetype or trope than anything. anyone can relate to it at some point and no one is either forever, generally.
For the most part yes, I've been slipping away more and more from society since June of 2011 after a traumatic experience where my life was threatened by a group of people who tried to chase me down with knives over me texting the "leader's" girlfriend. Who was an ex of mine. I was outgoing and everything till that moment. It completely changed me for the worst. I couldn't trust people anymore and it brought on strong social anxiety.>>281
I've been a NEET for really four years now. I tried working two jobs since then, in 2015 I worked for about three weeks at a Krogers till social anxiety kicked in and I literally freaked out, walked out, and walked home. Then in 2016 I actually tried working at a call center I thought "I'm not in the general public, this should be pretty good" But ended up getting the flu after the first week and missed too many days during my training, they said they'd give me another chance when the next group starts. But got screwed over and then they told me 90 days, then I kept trying to get back over there till around June of this year I finally gave up and actually have putting in applications. But I'm not sure how I'd end up doing if I actually get hired and try to work in the general public again. Will I have a freak out, or will somehow I be able to handle it. I'm not quite sure. But it fucking sucks feeling like this and being so pathetic. Hell I don't even have my driver's license because I'm too terrified to drive.
I had a mental breakdown that sent me to the hospital. Before that I didn't have a job partly because it became really difficult for me to do. I'm a programmer, but for some reason I just couldn't concentrate enough to program well anymore and I lost confidence in my skills. I would be good for maybe 3-4 hours, then after that I was useless. I started stretching deadlines and getting pressure from my manager and it became overwhelming so I quit.
I just started applying to jobs recently, but it's bad timing around the holidays.>>283
After my breakdown I have difficulty driving. I get bad intrusive thoughts that freak me out and distract me, which is dangerous. But there are good days when I can drive no problem.
Have you driven much before? I remember when I first started learning, I was white-knuckle driving all the time. That went away and I relaxed after a couple weeks of forcing myself to drive.
No but I am petrified of hair loss
Honestly if it got to the point of balding I would just shave my head fully and wear a nice ball cap. I think full bald looks way better than bald on top
yeah, it's just that I'm too immature to do it
i'm 20 and been going bald since 16 since god hates me i guess, and i have the social maturity of a 14 year old. it's ridiculously embarrassing to me to the point where id rather just give up than try to live any semblance of a normal life. i'm pretty sure its a 1 in 1000 chance to start losing hair at the same time i did https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ezHBwQ-rt4
i'm trying to get something like this though but its expensive and has to be replaced every couple of months
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I will stop being a NEET next week, I'm really anxious (not in the good way), I'm a college dropout and after a year being a NEET, I'm starting college again, well sort of, I really need to get high grades but I don't know if I will be able to get them, I might fucked my sleep schedule, and my brain too.
It's okay anon, you just gotta keep trying.
Why did you drop out the first time?
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We don't have 'Community college' here, but it isn't a full career either, it's a 'pre' if that makes any sense, it's just one semesters, if you do really well and get high grades you get in the career, but usually only 5 or 8 students actually pass, even if I don't get the grades to pass I need to high grades or else I will fuck my chances to get a career even more.
I'm already on debt, is not too big, but I feel useless letting my parents pay everything, now they have to pay my education again and keep paying my debt. >>309
I chose a career that wasn't reciprocal to my skills, I wasn't doing good, and I got really depressed, I hated that career, that, and my own laziness made me dropout.
I'm a failure.
But this time I want to the right thing, I don't to feel depressed again, or fail miserably like the last time.
It's more common than you think to not get it right the first time. You are fortunate to have your parents pay for your mistakes and you really shouldn't feel guilty about it. It's what they're there for.
Vocational training tends to be pretty cheap if there's something that you want to do relating to that.
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Here we are, again. For the fifth time in 2 years I am again hikki/neet. I feel like such a disgrace.
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Honestly, anon. I've got a "real" job, and it's just sinking in more and more lately that I just do not fucking fit in anywhere I go. Everyone at work is either a sportsball normalfag or even worse a youtube memelord, who are arguably worse, because they corrode the sanctity of the internet itself. Wish you the best anon. I still hang on to hope that someday I can have a happy and peaceful life in spite of the fact that nobody else seems to want to given their decision-making.
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That's exactly how I feel. I just don't know whether it has more to do with us as outsiders or if it has more to do with modern society at large.
When I'm working, it gives me in illusion of having a purpose.. but it's really just a distraction from the reality that I have no real future. Soon enough I'll get bored again and search for employment, and again the perpetual cycle of 'need for purpose' and 'need for rest' will continue.
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It makes me think of how "today is yesterday's future." I hoped for a future years ago, and here I am. This is it. "It doesn't get better unless we 'make' it better, right?" Wrong. We can't make anything better, we can only change ourselves, and then we're just better versions of ourselves in a world that's still shit.
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I'm OP and >>347
Reading through this thread is so comfy. I'm working again and I have been enjoying it. It makes a big difference to be able to relate to your coworkers and be friends with them. Sure, it helps to live in an area with a lot of fellow weirdos. A few years ago, I never would have thought I'd come this far in overcoming my social anxiety. It does get easier to interact with people, and the physical human interaction has a profound impact on your mental health. We're all gonna make it anons.