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Sometimes I don't even feel excited about accomplishing baby steps though, since I know they are so artificially low. Or knowing I have so little to accomplish, I can lie in bed even longer, or generally allow myself to get distracted from what is my primary goal for the day/week.
Then even if I do get in a good cycle of getting things done, I struggle with the inertia - since at some point you are filling your day, so anything less than that feels like failure.
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Goal setting is possibly the most important thing to building quality self-discipline. Set daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals.
As far as focus goes (which is often mistaken with discipline), I recommend the Pomodoro Technique. Start small and build up until you can focus for hours at a time. Reading is the easiest thing to do this with. If you want to build mental endurance/raw willpower, I find intense exercise and long cold showers to be good. Also keep in mind that without a healthy body, no amount of training will build you discipline. You need a healthy body.
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Because you don't believe that you can. Yes, it's a cliche. Yes it's unhelpful; it is still true. I used to feel exactly the same way as you did, as though my life was on rails and completely out of my control. I had vague ideas of things that I thought I might want, but never for a moment believed that they would be achievable or could actually happen.
It may not surprise you to hear that I was very depressed for some time; ironically, it was when it got unbearable that I set myself free, completely by accident. I bought some heroin and lots of valium off the darknet with the aim of downing a bottle of vodka and dieing (inb4 not the most effective method, yada yada yada).
And then it occurred to me. Just sitting in despair in my room living off handouts, I could get access to some of the most powerful drugs the world has ever known delivered straight to my door. Isn't that crazy? Imagine what I could do if I put my mind to it!
Look the point of all this is that you need to embrace the absurdity. Chase a whale. Push a boulder up a hill. Smoke some rocks. Just do <something>, for Christs sake. Not something you never thought you could do, because you'll mentally block yourself from doing it. Do something entirely new, that is entirely unlike you.
It could be as simple as getting dessert.
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I feel man. Every time I want to get into something new or study a subject, after some time I lose interest and drive to ever look at it again.
I've fallen so many times into this spiral of apathy and despair.
babies have been born and learned to walk and talk since I made this thread
and I'm still the same
Well I shouldn't say that, I guess I'm a bit better. Only a bit though…
Take the smallest easiest step you can imagine, and hold yourself to it, everyday. At one point for me it was just leaving the house.
It creates a feedback loop and things get better eventually.
Hehe… It wouldn't be so sad if this wasn't true. >>969
It didn't work :/.
I'm literally turning into a vegetable because of this corona thing going on.
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Over the last few years, I started building some more discipline but it still constantly feels like I will break the habits I have formed at any moment. Many chores and personal maintenance that I used to struggle alot with, I still end up doing inconstitently. I'm scared the days I forget will turn into weeks, and the weeks into months, because I can't trust myself from all this inconsistency. I've broken them for weeks or months on end, too many times. And the few habits that I have retained, are starting to feel like more and more of a tiring chore that I simply can't do without constantly thinking of quitting. I feel like I'm just broken myself and that I can never be fully fixed.
I feel like this GIF of Harold Smith from the Powerpuff Girls, except without any family around. The older I get the more I can understand this character, actually.
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Not going to pretend like it's perfect solution to everything, but I keep myself going with three things.
First is to simply have no nothing done days. Unless you are sick or something, you can always do something in a day no matter how big or small. Never allow yourself a day of nothing unless you have a good reason to.
Secondly is that if you like for instance art, but you don't know how to draw well, remember that in months or years from now you will be in the same position. But if you drag yourself now next time you won't be as clueless to drawing as you were before and you will be able to do more and get closer to your goal.
thirdly is just to try doing something for 15 minutes. If it doesn't work, fine. Just leave it be. But I can assure you that the more you do this, the easier that 15 minutes will become and today's 30 minutes will become today's 15.