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I'm no expert but… exposure therapy? Spend a few hours in a Call of Duty lobby and that ought to make any other insult seem insignificant.
Lol. That is a good suggestion because I play Overwatch and have suffered through three games of League.
But I'm still sensitive and a giant crybaby. There's something wrong with me.
>>1020>I'm still sensitive and a giant crybaby. There's something wrong with me.
What does your doctor say about it? You don't have to tell us, but there's probably some wisdom there.>[Exposure therapy] is a good suggestion because I play Overwatch and have suffered through three games of League.
Not really sure how to understand this. If it's a good suggestion, why has following it so much failed?
To be honest, I envy you a bit. I haven't had a good cry in *checks watch* at least a few years. Even when I've really wanted to. The closest thing is I want to cry, and my eyes get really dry, and I start laughing as though I'm sneering at something.
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Barely. I wish I had a hobby outside of video games because I never log off feeling better than when I logged in.>>1024
My therapist introduced me to CBT but I find that when I'm truly upset I can't remember to practice the exercises, only to have the situation get even more out of hand.
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Can't say I agree, but you never know what will help a specific patient on their path to recovery and growth. If that's getting your nuts smashed and stepped on then anon I won't judge, but may the lord have mercy on your wicked, degenerate soul, young man.
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sleep? I could'nt even cry when I almost died and want to cry for discharging feels. i couldnt feel when dead my closest family member and in fact, I am a perfect hypocrite, I can cry when I want, even the lens of the eye is under my conscious control. but just couldn't. I stand in front of the coffin, which sinks into the cremator and "I think rationally." imagination paints a picture of imminent death, but I survived. after that there was no tragic thinking about life or the simple "I'm lucky and everything is ok barebukh bitch". I constantly feel pain and suffer in my mind.
my palitre of feels is: boredoom, all consuming pain.
i do not scared about self esteem or something. not try to escapism. i just want to be dat-feel-boy again and feer for real.
I CAN NOT FEEL 'FOR REAL'. I feel things really, not simulated by mind (empathy is working), but it is not making sense, like depression and bad neural balance or something, all feelings is pale.
IF YOU ONLY CAN SEE MY LIFE WITH MY EYES. you will say OMG OH BOY, so many things to remember, so cool. In other case, 'they' whom being in similar situations is normal state and they ordinary say 'you can not understand'.
half of my friends DEAD. i try to make new friend, and even tell that we jump with parashute next time, but ta-da and he is meatball inside crashed car. he is cracker, also, we work'd together in past.
i felt (yeah, 'proved') feelings really, not simulated in my mind, maybe maximum a * hundred * times in the last few years. and this is with really an 'actions rich' life. "i wish i was a whiner, want to cry, but at least I felt something." even this rage is fiction. usually i just dont give a fuck.
and also i really twisted. distant love for five fucking years and hypertensive crisis with something like panic attack (you can shoot my leg with 22lr and i will do not panic, i seen maximum shit for civil person) every time when il try to write to she who i … will say 'want' to not make word 'love' being so filth because im traitor of moral antihuman, who maybe can not feel love again for entire life again. also, i even cant think about love of another. for example, i met a girl (wery smart, ideal face, she really model for journal/magazine, lol) and i say 'no chances, i love another' when she try to catch me for sex with all truth and lies (or whatewer, known not so much english idioms).
and she like me so much that try to not ironically make me have no feels to others, say plans about my geniuos mind with her %%kike roots%%.
human problems… fuck tears.
and this is for thing: we not meet in chats with normal speak in internets for >3 years. in all cases i feel panic attack with hi blood pressure (i have heart problem, can die, lol) or hate15%+disgusted-for-amorale-things-of-her5%+love as life for all at same time.
when we hugs in past (i remember, she stay with hands down), it is some of my brighest than sun memory. i want to be with her. i try to text her many times and stalk in web (she/he imageboard wizzard with 'something needed, but not know what' satori tendencies in text (i read a lot about behavior psy)). she also know places where i was readonly for long. and also, i read half year logs about this chan.
so — pain, that even narcotics for 2 years cant cure (also, with books, retard RTS games, cinema). i tell my family member something that make she drink too much antistress. and she tell 'you will be hate yourself when i die and will remember me'. hah, i do. my … died. drink a lot of зверобой and valeriane extracts.
and also friend of myne who is 63 years old real former KGB worker (not just agent; real fucken soviet КГБ) dead next after — he tell me that going to father in Balkany (that is Serbia-Kosovo-Montenegro). aha, yes… his surname is Serbin. he say by esope fable-words 'im gonna die and go to fathers". he send to me mine (from previous wurk) envelope/paper-postbag with id. that mean… nothing?
after we: i and my crush being separated by tragic situation of missconfidence, missunderstanding and sort of she love person whom loved before and have little human child, i go off because want to her real happines, then i visionaired the future of mind of her and do not want make pain or something. so i go off.
also, my father drop me down by bathtube perimeter with back of the head (MRI scan and neural cocktor says that no shit happens, but my eudeitic memory fade away for 10 month! and wery slow goes to superpowah state.
because father is old veteran who drink a lot now (now, at i know, he stop).
also i now have gray hair on the head sides ('bakes'?).
and so much dissappointings in life. but i want see bright future with half of planet people darvin-eated.
when i was a child i have wery strong emotions. also, i grown up in sort of panoptikon, where my grandpa wath all my doings, then father, then cameras because nyfb.
everything i do is nothing that make me feel hard bright feels. even narcotics do not make mind-pain low. but im not stupid junkie, i read a lot (if this stereotipe is warm) and smart… by my way.
my life is so many regrets. but i can not say 'oh, so bad'. i say dont give a fuck, because thickskin mind.
now i have only self control. will power? yes, and no in same time.
i think about going to war (in UA we have hybrid war with RU-affiliated separatists at this time, sort of paused; if i go, i maybe go for hardcore death, because i feel bad mind state everyday; social darvinism for fuck sake in inversed reality), because some of my old IRL friends in there.
so now you can say 'there in dc of ukraine some retard whom/who is worse than mine <<<uh-oh sensitiveness>>>. be proud of your salt in eyes, because it makes you human shit at all.
inb4: i speak with doctors and medics about something, but not about all shit. etifoxinum, lol. just tranquility. so fuck you and stop your overreaction of brain. 'you' (neural networks in head) can controll all if want even eye lens and ear hi-voice muscle. you can being what you want. i can not.
>reply to 10/06/20
>i know. just want say something for one time at year.
Not to pry OP, but have you grown up in a household where you regularly heard yelling and/or were the primary target of it? I have been like you for the longest time, and grew up in such a household so I think that may be one of the reasons. Even now, I can't stand any kind of yelling and it frightens me to the point I want to hide and cover my ears like a child.
I'm also over-sensitive because I've had very severe social anxiety since elementary school. Bullies would say something remotely cold and rude, which would make me full out sob. (My mother constantly made me like that from her verbal abuse too, hence my suspicion that it has much to do with my home environment ) They would then wonder why I was crying and make fun of me for said crying, too.
I've only stood up for myself a handful of times, but in the rare times I did, I took away the lesson that you need to overcome the feeling of sounding or seeming like an asshole when you do. Because you are already over-sensitive, you will feel like one no matter how you stand up for yourself. You'll still be tempted to just make yourself the problem, not the person who made you cry. Of course, there are ways of "standing up" for yourself that really will make you look like an asshole or even crazy, but I doubt you will use those ways, especially if you're still very much controlled by what others think of you. Just remember any such feelings are mostly in your head. If you want people to stop letting people mess with you, getting over them is the first step.