/bm/ - Body & Mind

>>1009
I suffered for a long time, wasihng my hands until they were red. after that, the OCD become mental, intrusive thoughts. there is no better coping method than therapy. this question is like asking, "does anyone else have an ache in their back? how to cope" dude just see a doctor

>>592
You're being trolled. They're trying to get you to die embarrassingly.

I suspect someone just got the spleen and prostate confused

Follow your dreams :^)

This thread makes me exceedingly uncomfortable.

This is from Guts by Chuck Palahniuk by the way. Gross read, don't recommend it.

>>1001
So glad to hear this friend. I recently sought help for problems myself. We’re all gonna make it

>>1002

That's the spirit!

>>1001
That's really good to hear. I'm still hoping to achieve any improvements. I haven't made any steps yet on attempting to find a psychologist or even return to where I went before. I feel as if due to the pandemic they'd want me to do video calls or something over the phone which I'm not willing to do at all. Such a troubling situation. I guess I can say, I haven't really become any worse. I've been avoiding specific negative triggers that throw me into panic states as well. I never had heard about that regarding the Columbine survivor though. Interesting and extremely wild odds.

>>984
get some exercise. you dont even have to go outside. do some pushups and squats. at least open a window though

>>1004
I'd give you a source but I can't seem to find it, so I sure hope I wasn't accidentally giving false information. Anyway, my therapist does phone calls and not video calls. Is it possible you can ask them to do a phone call instead since you can't do video calls?

>>1006
Exercise really helps tbh but my kneecaps absolutely despise squats. I end up doing yoga a lot of the time and then walking on the treadmill. Works just as good for me.

>>975
If you really do all these things, you aren't inadequate. As for not feeling satisfied with yourself… who knows?

I don't know a lot about life. I'm 15 and I'm not that smart. From what I can gather, people raise kids to fill something in their life. They get married. They buy land, and pick up hobbies. They build things with their hands, like a shed or something. I dunno.

From what you described you seem to have the main 4 levels down, Working and loving for your fellow samaritans, but What bout you? Does working out act as a fulfilling third place between work & home? Is there any aspirations & passions you'd want to make space & time for

>>983
Everything above survival needs aren't needs. Further the distinction between safety and physiological needs is bunk. There are survival needs—the things without which you simply cannot be—and there is what you really want to do with your life. Without satisfying your survival needs, it'll be difficult to do what you really want to do. Some persons don't really have any special desires, so they'll be fine with just maximizing the satisfaction of their survival needs. I really only care about one thing, so that's what I built my life around. In terms of satisfying my needs, I figured a way to do that that's integrated with that lifestyle, so I never feel like I have to `work' to survive: I live in my own happy little world.
>>975
The problem seems to be that what you're doing with your life is not what you really want to be doing with your life, or it is but there's something missing. You should know more about your life than I do, so I won't tell you what changes will work for you, but there are some general suggestions about how to figure it out. As banal as it sounds, trying different things tends to be a good place to start.
It could also be a mental health condition. If lifestyle changes don't improve your malaise, professional help may be beneficial.

I think I'd like to raise crickets.

The city is probably only considered a small town to most of you as it's only around a population of 17k. My hometown is less than half of that. Anyways to finish up posting about my day, we got a quick bite to eat which I just ended up getting a grilled chicken sandwich from the food joint we stopped by which we then found some tables to eat at down the street. I seemed okay until a very strange person started hanging out in these bushes near where we were eating. I personally think he decided to go in there to get high on whatever drugs he may had possessed. Heroin and meth are pretty bad here, seems to be that way almost everywhere these days. But anyways, next thing I know my girlfriend gets really disgusted and has us leave. She told me soon as we got back on the road and was heading home she believed the guy was masturbating. I believe he probably was just pissing and really strung out. (Post 5)

That ending situation possibly could have ended up worse and brought slight paranoia to me. Overall, the day was about attempting my goal of trying to get out of the house to focus on self-improvements one day at a time. The only other comments I have to make about the day is I don't see how people honestly work 8 hours a day while wearing a mask, I'm glad we didn't stay in locations very long as I was already suffocating after 15-25 minutes of wearing my mask. I'm not sure what I plan on doing next, I guess I'll try to visit or reach out to other family while also possibly working on some physical routine. Maybe even try cleaning up a little bit around the house. I'm not sure what to do about work yet as I'm still not yet ready to take that leap. But it's hard to not feel stressed out with everything going on when you don't have a source of income and my girlfriend has already been as patient with me as she has. Sorry for the long blogpost, hope everyone else is well, and doing what they can to make it through their personal ordeals. (Post 6)

Sorry that I had to split >>989 >>990 >>991 >>992 >>993 >>994 into six parts, didn't realize that the post limit size was what it was on here. It's been a while since I've been on here and thought I'd return once and a while. Another goal that I've been trying to achive is to communicate with others after a long period of isolation from any type of networking whatsoever. I'm trying to get the hang of honestly, just living again.

I continued with getting out of the house again today. This time I didn't really go anywhere in public, just got picked up and visited with my grandma for a couple of hours. Played with the dog a little bit even though I eventually started to get annoyed with it. Then ate dinner with her, helped back up some files for her onto laptop, and came home. The visit went okay, she ended up getting me a new pair of shoes which I needed while she was out earlier in the day. Once I got home, I felt somewhat motivated to do a small bit of house work. I changed the filter in the house, did some laundry, and took out the trash. My goal of self-improvement is still running it's course for two days in a row. I'm hoping I don't lose focus and start to slump back into my depression as well as become unmotivated to do anything again. Coming on here and posting about it as well as the "deeds" section is nice. I've thought on possibly making a blog or working on a small webpage. I just really don't want to throw an actual "personality" with it but maybe go by a pseudonym. I don't want a lot of attention towards me or my actual identity. Maybe just some way to keep somewhat an online diary of sorts of my day to day life with various topics. Of course at this time, it's just a mere thought.

I focused more on my mental health today by having a couple of self induced pep talks. Followed with some minimal straightening up around the house, such as throwing some stuff away and making the bed. Then I ate some dinner and tried some meditation. I wanted to keep myself calm as I started to feel some anxiety throughout the early parts of the day. It seemed to help for the most part. I'm going to try to find something different to take care of throughout the night hours. I might just relax and watch a movie, I'm not entirely sure yet.

BTW this isnt op

>>656
I know.
>>657
And I know.

I just want to get into because it seems fun.

I do Tarot. Been doing so I was 15 and got a Rider Waite deck from my mom for birthday.

I also own a Crowley Thoth.

I can try to help answer questions if needed.

I use tarot in two ways, and one of them is has taken me into undesirable states a few times, so I tend to stick to the psychological model.

Tarot's like a Rorschach test. Tarot's meaning and imagery is sort of based on Jungian archetypes; common elements that exist in all human psyche.

When you ask a question or just pull cards, your subconscious projects what it wants you to see. It's like a dream. You don't control dreams, some other part of your mind you aren't aware of at the present is pulling the strings, putting on a play for you. Tarot allows you to do the same thing, but on top of a framework.

For instance, when you pull the Ace of Wands, which signifies new artistic or passion-driven work, don't interpret it as "you'll get inspired". Just see the card, and allow your mind to project what it wants, which is often the deepest thing you want, but might have been avoiding for reasons x y.

I prefer Past Present Future draws.

Past indicates the pattern/idea/thing that set up the situation
Present is the current situation
Future is what could possibly end up happening if you stay on this course.

>>660
Why does Rider-Waite add all that extra symbolism on the minor cards that earlier decks like Marseilles don't have?

>>925
>I'm sorry to hear that man, your story sounds a lot like mine. How are you holding up?
Same as years ago. I'm waiting till my anchors are gone so I can go too.
>Do you have any support, family or otherwise?
Not really and things are getting exponentially worse post-corona. Health and economic issues.
>Have you tried medical help? Is that accessible where you live? Antidepressants are far from great, but in a desperate situation, they can help restart things.
I am not going to see a doctor ever again. I am tired of being told I am the problem and that somehow I have deluded myself that life is unbearably painful when it's not. This life is clearly something I don't want. There is nothing I can do in this life that would give me purpose or happiness. All my dreams have been shattered one by one. I thought the internet would have given me an opportunity but it's straight up impossible to do what I would have liked to do. I do not want to become yet another zombie working some shitty retail job while chugging antidepressants. I would rather die while I am free.
I had asked for so little, I even prayed, I earnestly kneeled and prayed to a God I didn't believe in, to have something back for all the shit I've been through. Nothing, it was too much to ask.
This might be my last post, I'm done with imageboards.

>>551 here.
One year later. I'm my third semester now, I decided to go for a degree in Chemistry, first semester was ok, I had some of the best grade among my peers, and meet some friends, and actually got attention from a lot of girls which was a surprise to be honest, (I end up loosing my V-card, but I'm not very proud of the whole thing) second semester was meh I'm back to being friendless and with the Corona outbreak I'm back to my home not quite as a Hikki but at least I'm comfy, now I'm starting the third hopefully every will be fine this semester, a part of me wants to stay at home for the rest of the uni, to be honest there's nothing that attach me to the Uni and specially the city I have to move in order to go to college, even if Virtual classes are a pain I still prefer to be in the commodity of my home.

I wish I had something more important to tell you guys, but haven't done anything more interesting beside studying, I got some ""friends"", and I got a short ""relation"" but now everything is back to normal, and that's much better, I have to confess that I still feel 0 passion or anything like that for my career path, but I noticed I'm better student that the average person, so I think I can manage my way through the rest of the semester.

In the mean time I have to tell you guys that I finally accomplished one of my long dreams that was to build a decent computer (I know, not much of a dream but I really wanted it), I saved for years and this year finally managed to built it.

I've been feeling a lack of motivation the last semester and I don't think it will go away anytime soon, but I'll be fine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNq4zqTN_DQ

>>884
Anon, your support almost make me tear up, but I don't think I deserve so much support from you, in the end I'm still a capable human been, my life hasn't been particularly hard, but I got into the Hikkikomori life-style for the same reasons most of the people get into that life-style, and my 'recovery' has been going if not well, at least decent.

In the end I'm just probably just another socially inept lazy scum (that's how I've been called), but hey, thanks for your support Anon, it really meant a lot to me, even if we are just strangers.

I hope your life is doing ok too, I'll cheer up for you too.
See you next year.



Thanks for listening, this be my last update for this year.
/blog

Not a hikki quite yet, but I am definitely a NEET, complete with SSI. I don't believe I'll ever fully be able to work because my public school teachers were so emotionally abusive that they purposely docked my grades. I can't even drive. I don't pay attention well enough.

I genuinely want to become better and live a life outside of being a NEET. It's my dream to open a little store where I sell handmade goods. No idea if I'll ever achieve it, but it's a nice thought to cling to when life gets rough.

I've rarely been a full hikki, since I would still be forced by my family to go to school or occasionally shopping, but I would become one on breaks and holidays. The closest I got to being a full one I suppose is 2 years ago when I lived away from home for the first time and spiraled into the worst depressive episode I've ever had. I stopped going to any of my classes through the middle of the semester and ate every single meal in bed. Essentially I only got up to shower and use the bathroom.

I think some bad life events that meant I would ultimately have to drop out of school if I continued being a hikki, such as my father refusing to support me financially at all anymore and my grandmother getting cancer (My mother decided to sell our house and leave the country to go care for her), made me start being more active in trying to get myself out of that lifestyle. I started self-studying Japanese, after having taken it for 4 years in high school, and it became a huge passion that I absorbed myself in learning all-day long. This was very important because up until then I don't think I had ever had a single thing in my life that I had been remotely passionate or disciplined enough to keep working at. I believe getting the discipline from that slowly started seeping improvements into other areas of my life, which is why the advice I always like to give now is to find a passion. It may sound like a tired cliche, but I do think it is extremely important to find some area or subject that you will do anything to get good at, so to speak. It can serve as a small light in your darkest tunnel.

>>966
based reverse psychology

>>966
Hehe… It wouldn't be so sad if this wasn't true.
>>969
It didn't work :/.
I'm literally turning into a vegetable because of this corona thing going on.

Because you don't enjoy the thing you're trying to do. You just enjoy the results.

>>971
>Because you don't enjoy the thing you're trying to do. You just enjoy the results.
There are a lot of things you have to do you don't really like and don't really care about result.

>wanted to rewrite completely an imageboard and get rid of self-made abomination/database
>ended up just changing couple things, because I just didn't want to think.
How do I stop being such a lazy asshole? I mean, there was a motivation (because this self-made flat file thing had backfired countless times, because it is just another 9000th clone of 4chan/vichan/whatever type of a deal), but still it wasn't enough apparenlty

I don't know about health benefits and I can see it being a harm if you are used to jerking yourself more than once a day and then going to 0 for a long time.

It's certainly an act of self discipline though. If you manage to hold this for a whole month I'm sure you'll find the will and energy to do other things like study or medidate.

Best of luck anon.

>>430
I'm also of the opinion that it's more of an exercise in self-control than anything. I personally fap a few times a day even though I, "don't want to." but it definitely saps my motivation after I'm done.

My only cure is to keep busy, but even working 12 hours a day isn't busy enough, so honestly it's really hard for me to go more than a couple days without coming across some anime grill thumbnail that boils my oil.

>>432
What helped me was ceasing to use porn while masturbating. Not even using my imagination to picture sexually arousing images.

Now simply seeing porn doesn't instantly turn me on and I masturbate just when I actually want to do it. I crave the process and the feeling, rather than the pornography.

That's not so say that my fap frequency fell extremely low immediately, there are periods of time when it fluctuates, but my masturbation patterns and sexual arousal feel healthier than they were prior to absenting my self from porn

>health benefits
There are huge health benefits, especially if you replace the habit with something productive/healthy. Men who are addicted to masturbating will end up getting no pleasure from it eventually because they've constantly got this death grip on their dick (desensitization) meaning they will eventually never be able to cum from sex or getting sucked off. The high you get from cumming lasts a few seconds but destroying your dick will last forever. That will fuck up any of your future relationships because you'll be shit in bed. You'll probably struggle to even get it up. It will make your partner believe that you don't love them if you can't get hard or get no sexual pleasure from being with them. Your dick will thank you for not strangling it on a regular basis.

>psychological benefits
Porn fucks up your perception of reality. It affects your self-confidence. It affects how you see women. People with an addiction keep going for more and more extreme porn, you could never sustain a healthy relationship with another person in the future if the only thing that will get you off is piss and shit and strangulation. Think about how that could get you into trouble one day if what you're watching is illegal or looked down on by society. It affects how you see people in the office, your family, your friends and strangers on the street, you're seeing them as objects instead of living, breathing humans. It will affect your worldview, your politics and your morals. No partner will ever be good enough for you because they don't look/act like what you see in porn (especially if you're into hentai or something totally unrealistic like furries). When you stop watching porn, your confidence returns and you have much, much better relationships with everyone around you.

>>958
>replacing the habit
You're addicted to jerking off because it gives your brain chemical rush. It's temporary and then you go back to being bored/depressed. When you get the urge, if you can replace it with something that excites you (music, roller coasters, horror films, running), relaxes you (meditation, yoga, drinking tea), makes you happy (watching a film, listening to a podcast, reading) makes you feel accomplished (cooking, painting, journaling, DIY), helps you bond with someone (your partner/family/friends/pet) etc. then you will break your addiction and have a hobby that you can actually share with others. Better yet, use a combination of all of those things. Imagine the things you could create or consume with the hours you spend organizing your creepy porn folders. Think about why you consume porn and then try to find something that will give you the same high or joy or state of relaxation.

>if all else fails…
Educate yourself on the industry. This won't work for the most addicted people because they've already conditioned their brains into seeing porn stars and victims of revenge porn as objects but after a few weeks of going cold turkey, this will have more of an impact. Read accounts from porn starts who have left, interviews with directors and see how little they care about their actors/you. Human trafficking. Revenge porn. See the impact porn has on the lives of everyone involved in filming but also of those who become addicted (NEETs, divorcees, dead bedrooms, incels). Read accounts of people who have had their relationships/careers/lives destroyed by porn, people who have been sexually assaulted, court cases where people took their fetishes too far and actually hurt/killed someone. If you feel empathy, you can't enjoy porn.