/bm/ - Body & Mind

>>1220
I pray that you find somebody better and treat you better as well.

things are getting better. only about a year left of school before i can transfer to get my bachelors. have enough savings that i don't need to work until then. been taking nice long walks, enjoying nature. slowly but surely selling off 95% of my belongings before i have to leave. it's sort of solemn, but also freeing. even if things don't work out, at least i know each day i'm actively planning to make life better for my future-self.

Promising myself cigarettes for doing work actually pays off. I never "rewarded" myself yet but the illusion of there being one gets me going.

1/2

"I'll be dead by 30. lol."
- Me at 18, 17, 16…

"I'll be dead by 30. lol"
- Me now

I'm pretty close to achieving my goals I set for myself as a kid. I've done the things that were bothering me as a kid. Finished most of the games I never was able to do, achieved most of my academic goals that I thought I would never be able to accomplish, and actually got a job in my field for about a month. If I'm able to get another job, regardless, I'll have completed everything me as a kid though I would never have done. I didn't have much faith in myself, so it's nothing special. I'm not talking about getting an advanced degree. Just things that I never would have thought I could achieved. Thanks to the support system I have, of course. I feel like a bit of a fraud compared to others, but in retrospect, those ideas and philosophy system is my enemy.

2/2

I've grown tired of the internet. Things aren't that funny any more. I can hardly laugh at anything. I don't like reading, and I don't like movies or television. It's hard to even watch my favorite show. Learning is something I prize, but I just don't have the passion to learn. I think school has driven that out of me. I'm further becoming more hostile to the United States and its fun antics. Definitely not the most friendly country out there towards others. The CIA could probably be called a terrorist organization for what mettling it's done in other countries. I don't particularly want to talk about it though.

I am not sure what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, actually. Mostly in free time, probably. Nothing's really interesting any more. I'm more waiting to see what's going to happen than what I'll be doing. Hopefully I can waste enough time to see Dwarf Fortress blossom into a beautiful woman. In the meantime, I guess, I'll force myself to watch more movies and maybe read some books. I don't really like books, but classic movies were pretty memorable and fun in a way.

>>1244
As for the detransitoners you're talking about, you're flat out wrong. A very small number (something like 6%) of people who begin transitioning choose to detransition. Of them, the wild majority do so because of pressure from family or society at large. A smaller number do so because of medical reasons (such as blood clotting), but the majority of them still choose to begin transitioning again if the issue that stopped transition is solved which it almost always is. Almost no detransitioners choose to do so because of financial reasons as it's always so important to trans people that they will forego most comforts and restrict other necessities before giving up transitioning because it too is a necessity. The very small minority of detransitoners who do so because they felt it wasn't right for them are usually attention seeking types. This is exactly what my sister is and most vocal detransitoners are too. They're people who started claiming they were transgender because it got them attention and love and support. As they hurt and ultimately alienate the people who supported them through their transition they get less and less attention and slowly convince themselves that transitioning was a mistake in the same way they did so with initially convincing themselves transitioning was the right path for them. Attention seekers as they are, when they commit to detransition they ensure that everyone hears their cries and will even lie about how bad transitioning fucked them up to. That's not to say that transitioning doesn't permanently alter the body but definitely much of what you'll hear from them are gross exaggerations of events. Feel free to come back with some examples and I'll point out inaccuracies for you.

>>1243
I've got a cis friend who juices. Ironically he's a huge ally for trans people despite all his misogyny and such, probably because he knows what it's like to have a body that doesn't align with your mental state. I've learned a lot about it from just hearing him ramble about it with younger lifters in our friend group and from what I've garnered people like them are the kind who do big doses of it looking for huge results. Overdoing it is the shit that you hear about in high school health class where hearts become the size of a basket ball and explode. Steroids are fairly safe, though not without risk, as long as you moderate yourself and simply use them as a way to slightly boost performance instead of trying to use them to completely augment your body. It's especially good to monitor your blood, as he does, to ensure so metabolic or hormonal abnormalities develop

>>1245
Not who you're replying to, but I'd hesitate to project that all detrans are attention seekers and weren't simply not thinking clearly or people who hadn't figured out their identity. If science made transitioning as easy as changing your coat you'd see more people trying it out for a while and then deciding the "fashion" of wearing a different body wasn't for them.

>>1247
I absolutely understand where you're coming from with this. It's definitely a little bit short sighted to say that all people who detransition because it wasn't right for them do so because of attention seeking reasons. It's particularly good then that it's not what I said and that I simply implicated a majority of the group as such. Most certainly there are people who detransition because they once genuinely thought they might be experiencing gender dysphoria but realized they really weren't and chose to detransition for personal reasons. In fact I've known a couple in the wide berth of acquaintances that have come and gone from my life though most of them started because of people they considered close friends pressuring them into it. Similar situation too what made me start except it was actually right for me.

>>1133
Being this meme.

Erotic role play is always an option no matter who you are, and having sex with other people that already have the same exact strain. Buy a good sex doll if you ever have a breakup and wait for a cure.

>>1232
>why do people think love exists
Love exists, at least as a concept.

>>1232
Because I knowmy cat loves me.

>>1207

This really sounds like a memory palace to me, you could look a bit into it ! I belive it's also called "method of loci", it's a really old way to remember things that unfortunately never worked for me…

>>1208
Always wanted to try the memory palace. I think mine would be like the place in Myst

>>1215
Passive agressive actions only serve to perpetuate cycles of misunderstanding and suffering.

What makes you feel you are unable to communicate your issues with this person directly?

>>663
>>665
It's important to be in a safe environment when you do it, and the best trip is inward - darkness and silence. Do not fight the experience, surrender to it, observe it. It won't last forever. If you go into it safely and excited to see what it has to offer, like you seem to be, it should go smoothly.

>>663
That's not a good idea

>>663
Realistically shrooms wont cure anything. They aren't an access to ayyliens, the demiurge, or anything else. At best it allows you to get in touch with your subconscious, at worse you open up a worm can you cant close. There are much safer ways to access your subconscious, see Jung's works. You wont be able to fix any issues that appear during psyches without knowing what to look for. If you're doing it for fun feel free, but take it slow and keep a benzo or two on hand if shit gets a bit too heavy to handle.

>>665
I am planning on growing mushrooms here soon for my very first time. Probably will try to do so a few times a year for personal use only. I've heard the rumors that you described about LSD along with other market drugs as well. There's a few that I personally want to try out but have been quite hesitant.

>Personally after tripping on LSD I only became more sure that I should kill myself
Do you only suffer from depression?

doing drugs while class is in session is :( i think its all in moderation. lsd and shrooms are reflections of your emotion so whenever people tell me they took acid at like 3 pm in their sad, dark apartment with people they don't know well it's like of course youre going to have a dog shit trip. i try and peak at like 1 pm