My most recent comment from one of those internet checkpoint videos, pasted here.
Note: I am 14.
Earlier today I was listening to Flying Lotus, and this one track he did for Adult Swim years ago. And I look to the comments and see people who were really nostalgic for this type of stuff, and were nostalgic for their adolescence. I cried, because I wish my life was as simple as all of theirs when they were my age. I was raised not really having any friends and constantly being bullied over shit that's out of my control. The pandemic made everything worse and worse. I have some friends now but they live really far from me and I can't visit them because I'm not vaccinated yet.
As I said in my last comment, I've gotten therapy, and I'm taking a break from social media now that most of my old online friends have turned against me over something I never meant. I'm starting to feel like I've been living a lie. I don't want the rest of my adolescence to be filled with strife and disappointment. Another thing, starting a Twitter account has become my biggest regret. I deactivated it nine months ago, but the side effects still stand on, I always get into arguments with my dad about stuff I shouldn't even be arguing about in the first place. I've been realizing now that I have serious anger issues over things that are pretty much meaningless and not in my control. Another reason as to why I'm getting therapy. I feel like it's become my only way of channeling out sadness. I just want my life to be or at least feel somewhat normal. I don't want to have to deal with any of this, I just want to live a life in peace and simplicity. God help me…
I'd built up this grandiose idea that joining the Army would fix me and all my problems. It got me away from some bad shit but it only made my problems worse somehow and I let it get to me to the point that they discharged me before I even completed basic training. While I was on my way out, I was told that I could always rejoin the military after 6 months. I got so excited over hearing this. Maybe I'd try a new branch, experience something different, still get my benefits, and much more after I fixed myself some in those 6 months. I called up the Air Force today. They didn't want me. They told me they wanted nothing to do with me until it got my discharge upgraded, which is impossible for my discharge. I called the Navy. Same story. The Marines. You know the deal. None of them want me. I've even talked with an Army recruiter again and they said it would be really tough to get me in. I'd built my whole life up to being a soldier. That was my dream. That was dashed in a heartbeat. I don't even know how to cope. I've got nowhere to turn here. There's no moving up for me. I'm such a fucking fool.
The longest streak I've done was about 7-8 days. Even then, I felt positive effects. I can't seem to beat that score.
Why do I have no discipline?
Why can't I do anything?
How do we live knowing this is it?
this board seems to be mostly mind and very little body. post your fitness goals and what practices you are using to reach them.
>want to lower my resting heartrate from 60 bpm to 45
>ride stationary bike for one hour, every other day at the highest setting at which i can mantain a speed between 90 and 100 rpm
been doing this for a month and had pretty much zero change in resting heart rate, any advice?
How many of you guys are hikkis? It is not something I am proud of personally, yet, it's only been about a month into my second relapse. Have any of you been through this, and have you any advice?
Why am I so sensitive? All I do is cry. Someone replies to me in a tone that doesn't sound nice and my brain hates it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I toughen up? Why do words affect me so badly?
I searched all boards, and was surprised to not find a thread for tulpas considering the imageboard we're on. I'm sure a few of you should have one though, so let's share and discuss everything associated with tulpas and tulpa creation.
If anyone isn't familiar with this, a "tulpa" is an entity created by meditation and imagination, which splits off your own consciousness in your mind and learns to act, feel, and think independently as its own personality. It becomes very much like a real person that talks to you and you experience life with it, but it's different from an imaginary friend in that it's sentient. With enough concentration and practice you can eventually superimpose your tulpa onto your own subjective reality and feel it with all five senses like a real person. A "wonderland" is an imaginary world that you construct in your mind to hang out in with your tulpa, scenarios can begin unfolding there on their own if you learn how to get into a hypnotic state via meditation and it's not unlike dreaming. As for dreams, you can meet your tulpa there and experience the dream together like a multiplayer game. This is just a simple explanation, and there's also lots of other stuff that you can do with your tulpa, but most other people make them at least for some kind of companionship.
For those of you who have tulpas, tell us about:
>who they are, what they're like, what they look like
>your wonderlands, what goes on there
>their creation/development process, how long it's been
>what your life is like with them, how it changed for you because of them
>whatever interesting experiences or problems you had and anything else you wanna share
Let's talk about sleep and sleep health.
Napping for 30 minutes a day in addition to getting a full 8 hours of sleep every night (at the same time!) has been one of the best things I did to improve my life. I really recommend it for everyone. You will think much faster, you will remember things easier, ideas will just appear in your head easily, and you won't be so depressed. It feels like going from being a lifeless zombie on autopilot to Neo in the matrix.
Also, and more importantly, having to go sleep and nap every day at the same time provides a structure to my horribly unorganized life, I used to think it will make my life more confining than it is and waste my time, but it's the opposite, you actually gain more time the more often you nap and sleep throughout the day, and this simple schedule gives me something solid around which to organize other things in my day so I don't feel like I'm just drifting aimlessly. I want to give a shout out to the anon who posted Jordan Peterson, as it really confirms what he talks about in his lectures, at least in regards to having a schedule.
Does anyone here suffer with OCD? How do you cope? I have the incessant need trigger myself and make myself feel dirty. It's ruining my life.
I feel like my mind is in a cage, like, i dont act like a normal person, i know im not a normal person, but everytime someone asks me if im okay i dont know what to say, even know im struggling so hard trying to find the words for what happens to me, can you give me some advices on how to improve on my comunication with people? it feels like everytime i try to talk to someone, there's a voice in my head that tries to sabbotage everything, tells me what to say and doesn't allow me to be myself, i swear i dont know who i am anymore
Painting by David Ditchfield.
Tell me about your (or any) near death experiences. Or out of body experiences. I'm fascinated by them.
Post what you did today to work towards your goals. Or if you did nothing, reflect on why and how you'll do better (don't be too hard on yourself though, perhaps you can even still do something today, even if small?). Hopefully you will feel more motivated and accountable.
>why not just use deeds?
I don't want to spam deeds for boring or very minor things, I'm ok with posting it in a thread though.
my adhd is getting to an unmanageable point. My motivation is gone, and all that I can focus on are my distractions. I wish for relief from the hell I am trapped in. I have dreams and aspirations and most importantly assignments due but I am stuck in this hell.
I hate my screen, I hate YouTube, I hate reddit, I hate 4chan. I am lost in the modern world. I need help
Paranoid thinking. Can't order food from Door Dash or Uber Eats. They'll poison it. Don't want to make dinner, it'll make more dishes. I don't want to do the dishes because I'm tired. I'm permanently tired because of depression. Get anxious because I think my life is spiraling. Desperately want to break the chain but being too uncomfortable to do so.
I read once that if you go deep enough through your anus, you can reach the spleen.
Suposedly massaging the spleen internally grants an incredibly intense sensation, like a constant orgasm that doesn't run out.
Couldn't find any info on Google, i doubt there's any truth to it, but i'm still curious nonetheless, have you guys ever heard anything about it?
I always get to work on time. I always do my job. I get a workout. I'm good to my mother. Why am I still so unsatisfied with myself? Why am I never enough, why am I always inadequate?
Does anyone like tarot?
I don't use them to try to foresee my future, but I like to appeal to the symbolism as a way to gain a different perspective on the present. I find the symbolism to be very deep and almost archetypal. Like old folk tales, different artists have made their own interpretations and representations of the cards over many years. Their true value and power has persisted through these various variations.
Two people just quit at my job right before the start of holiday season, and one of my tires went flat. But, drawing this card reminds me to stand tall and stay resilient, despite any past blows.
Anyone else doing this?
I know a lot of people are skeptical of any health benefits that could be gained from not wagglin your willly and idk if there are true health benefits myself, but I know for sure I am addicted to pornography and I want to stop. I have many personal reasons as to why I want to stop masturbating and watching porn.
So thoughts on nofap?
Tips and tricks to help fight the urge when it comes?
Anon, did you make resolutions for the new year? Goals you want to follow? Bad habits to get rid of, good habits to get used to? This is the thread for discussion and sharing experience.
Note: Resolutions are not unique to new years. This thread is about the discussion of every goal we try to achieve in this year. If you started a day or a month into 2020, no worries. We would still like to hear what you have to say.
>Reduce fast food, once in 4 weeks (last time I went on the 28th so I can't go sooner than the 25th this month)
>Greatly limit internet time to 2h (using the internet for work does not count)
>Start the day by reading
>No sodas or alcohol
>Drink 4 of water every day
Remember not to beat yourself up by saying things like "Everyone breaks their resolution." or "Same shit every year.". Attitudes like this keep one stuck in the mud. Getting rid of such negativity can be the first goal.
If you rebound, you haven't failed. Losing track of your goal is the only way to fail so keep going and mind your actions.
This thread was made in 2020 but counts for all years after too.
I didn’t know what board to put this under. I figured “mind” worked well. Art thread, post things you’re proud of. I made this with my girlfriend, enjoy
Lately, I've been struggling with keeping a positive attitude and continuing on being productive in these trying times. In the spirit of this, I decided to make a thread about the battle for constant self-improvement! I saw an anon on /fit/ recommend this guide, and read through it. It was very brusque but I did find a lot of parallels between my life and that of failure avoidance tactics that we either conciously or unconciously employ.
Do any of you anons have any similar resources/experiences/advice?
Last night was… bad… I had a psychotic episode and I called a friend I hardly know 23 times. I don't even remember what dumb shit I said to get.
I woke up this morning and found a sticky note on my bed telling me to call her when I was feeling better. I stressed out about calling her but I eventually manned up and called her. It went… Shockingly well, actually. So well that I've actually got a date lined up for Saturday. Life is funny.
I'm not feeling good.
Bottling only makes it harder.
This thread is intented for people who would like to rant and write out their feelings.
It's possible to just spill everything in the textbox, explain it detailed or even write poems/haikus or stories, whatever your want.
You can give yourself a time- or character limit if you feel overwhelmed with writing down all that is going on.
You may also ask for advice or similiar.
It's hard to keep up a happy face, don't hide under a mask in order to lie to yourself.
Be honest with yourself and your feelings, that's the first step towards self improvement.
for anyone who needs it
this is your sign to see a therapist
you can even get it free
Sitting in class watching some kids eat edibles while the professor is literally none the wiser. I can't help myself from wondering how miserable of a person you need to be in order to do drugs in the middle of class. I feel bad for them, honestly.
Drugs are fun while they last, but they're really not good for you. Share your wacky experiences with them.
Thhis is bad thred btw
How does it feel to have a personality disorder? It gives me something curiosity…
Tell me anon, what does it make you feel?
Tell me your histories.
Any of you guys are dealing with Hunchback posture and/or Forward head posture? It's so annoying, I'm also trying to deal with my weak chin.
Share your experiences, stories, tips, anything that help to get a better posture.
I have moderate acne on my face and moderate/severe acne on my chest and back. Ive had it since a teenager and never really cared but recenetly decided that I ought to do something about it.
Has anyone had any experience with this?
Any over the counter products you would recommend?
Any lifestyle changes?
I'm legitimately curious if any of my fellow chu/bm/en(?) have insightful advice/experience on this topic:
Is there really a point when taking any steps towards any level of 'transitioning' becomes fundamentally a waste of time?
I'm past the third-way point in my life, and I feel like shit; I would never want surgery or anything like that, but when I look into the mirror I see something too far gone to even bother /trying/ to cd, or hell, even start a tailored exercise regimen instead of general fitness. I know people redefine their identity at all sorts of different points in their lives; but I feel that on some fundamental level I *know* it'll never "work," so why even bother? why face that disappointment? Is never knowing the even worse fate, though, I don't know.
For that matter, do any of you have any tricks for dealing with that profound sense of I guess ennui? Ways of normalising and coping with the eternal questioning of oneself; on how to better deal with self-perception, or fuck, even meditation techniques to better understand one's true state of mind, potentiality and desires?
So I'd like to know what, if any, experiences y'all've had wrestling, and any advice you may carry towards the real boots-on-the-ground realities of overcoming or compromising with, any of this. Honest personal insights.
Anyone trying to lose weight?
What are you doing? Any progress?
I'm thinking of picking up fasting for at least a month.
Anyone have any experience with antidepressants here? I'm getting so desperate I'm willing to try anything.
This is NOT an April Fools joke, you can tell because it's a day later. If you think Truck-kun needs to be tagable at e-hentai and have an account, say so in the thread. All I need is one account to back me up and then by the rules there simply has to be a vote on it!
You know we need to be able to find out where Truck-kun has gone last to protect ourselves. Vote for my tag! JUST DO IT!!! For the lolis! And if you don't have an account then spread my link and get the word out so someone will vote for it!!! Do it /bm/ so you can protect yourself from the lolis of seeing girls smashed by trucks!
Hello, my friends.
For a while now I have had the assumption that I, personally, perceive the state of "feeling touched / moved" as more extreme than other people, though I have no idea why that might be.
The best example for this is whenever my dear mom passionately tells me about things she has done, for instance crafting some decoration, how proud she is of the outcome and that she'd like to show me. I perceive this as really cute and am extremely moved every time, but this "aww"-feeling seems more like sadness than anything else and one time even caused me to have some sort of emotional breakdown. One where I was crying for 2 hours straight, and I didn't even know what for - I still don't, in fact. This can't be entirely normal, can it?
My mom is the person I love most in this world, so then why do I feel so sad at times where her happiness shines through the most? Does it subconsciously remind me that I won't have her around forever? Maybe it reminds me of times when I wasn't good to her and I feel more grief now whenever I see how nice of a person and thus how undeserving she was of bad things that happened in the past?
Maybe some anons here have had similar experiences - if so, please tell us! Or maybe all of this really is normal after all and this is just what feeling moved is all about.
Most of the time I'm a pretty reserved and quiet person. I can be kinda awkward at times but I'm not a complete sperg. I think one of my biggest issues is I just never know what to say which leads to a conversation that fizzles out and dies really fucking quick.
I want to become a better conversationalist
How do i get better at talking to people irl
I saw a short interview with the actor who played Barney the Dinosaur the other day. I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about it. Here's a guy with probably one of the shittiest jobs I can imagine and he's just radiating happiness while talking about it. Imagine being in that giant suit, having to dance around for hours probably to kiddie music, the studio lights beaming down on you, you can barely see anything and you're sweating like crazy. But this guy has nothing but positive things about the experience, in fact he says he "loved" being Barney. Most people who do costume work only do it to move up to something better but this guy played Barney for TEN YEARS. He even loves the annoying "I love you" song that Barney sings which he's probably had to listen to thousands of times over the years.
I can't stop thinking about how positive and happy this guy is. I'm such a aggressive, pessimistic, stressed-out person. If I had a job like that, I would probably complain about it all the time. I wish I could be like him and see it as nothing but pure joy. I want whatever he has. In the video, he mentions that he studies Tantra and regularly did meditation. Do you think that's the key to becoming calm and content like he is? Or is that just who he is as a person?
Does anyone here suffer from tinnitus? How you deal with the blasted ringing when it comes? I feel like I can't enjoy the simple pleasures of music anymore.
I don't have problems with alarm but I literally can't get out of bed, I spend hours (yes, hours) in my bed just draydreaming and escaping to a fantasy world
What should I do to stop it?
We got any teafags up in here?
>not drinking a nice warm cup of chamomile every night before going to bed
Has anyone else tried an enneagram personality test? I just heard about it and took it, was a little scared how dead on it was. Though I guess people always say that about personality tests.
Got type 5, balanced wings.
I know that this might be pushing at the limits of this boards topic a bit, but towards what end are you living your life, anon?
How does one go about getting it? Especially if you're broke?
Regardless of whether hypnotism is real or fake, it seems that acting as though it's real lets me do interesting things, like relax my face and body on command.
I would like to read a quick poem on depression
Oh my god these people are horrible
this is really terrible
I don't like it
Can i have some tips or helpful advice to sit with my back straight? Lately, my chair has been really mean with me.
Thanks in advance!
Tell me what you do for your sleep.
>What time do you go to bed?
>You're taking pills?
>You have habits before bedtime?
I'm always going to bed at 3am, and I fall asleep like 4 or 5 am, I really starting to think that I have a problem.
(Sorry my bad English)
Anyone else here dealing with erectile dysfunction?
I definitely have it now, though I should've seen it coming earlier– I think it came from jerking off too much, I used to do it several times a day just because, y'know, it felt good and was fun. I still check things like exhentai every day just out of habit. I'm without a doubt addicted to porn.
I should see a therapist about it, because my girlfriend definitely isn't a fan of it.
Anyone have any luck with beating it?
Anyone have experience with natural anti-androgens/phytoestrogens/progesterones? Was thinking about trying purera, but I know the success rate isn't always that great, and it needs an androgen blocker to really be effective I hear. Anyone know any? Google turned up a few but there's very little "in the bush" research on it, and not very much academically, either, and any conclusions I can draw are pseudoscience (Oh, Chasteberry increases urine flow in men, must be an antimineralocorticoid!).
Some stuff to get discussion started:
I want to fix my sleep schedule to that of a normal human, what can I do? Every time I try it just goes back
my head's been hurting a lot recently
What's the advantages/disadvantages of dip? (aka chew, smokeless tobacco)
What is it like to be fat, my fellow chu/bm/en?
Hi. Im really thin and very malnourished. How do i gain healthy weight? not like McDonald's weight but normal weight.
Hardmode: no body builder proteins
So what are your thoughts on DMT?
Can you classify it as a drug since your body produces it?
I been reading DMT: The Spirit Molecule and its a fascinating read. Really weird that there really is a 3rd eye in your head and it's proven by science now and not just spirituality.
Makes me want to look for the stuff to experience it my self.
Mental and Physical Health.