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No. 984 [Reply]

Paranoid thinking. Can't order food from Door Dash or Uber Eats. They'll poison it. Don't want to make dinner, it'll make more dishes. I don't want to do the dishes because I'm tired. I'm permanently tired because of depression. Get anxious because I think my life is spiraling. Desperately want to break the chain but being too uncomfortable to do so.

I'm scared.
6 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.1004

>>1001
That's really good to hear. I'm still hoping to achieve any improvements. I haven't made any steps yet on attempting to find a psychologist or even return to where I went before. I feel as if due to the pandemic they'd want me to do video calls or something over the phone which I'm not willing to do at all. Such a troubling situation. I guess I can say, I haven't really become any worse. I've been avoiding specific negative triggers that throw me into panic states as well. I never had heard about that regarding the Columbine survivor though. Interesting and extremely wild odds.

No.1006

>>984
get some exercise. you dont even have to go outside. do some pushups and squats. at least open a window though

No.1007

>>1004
I'd give you a source but I can't seem to find it, so I sure hope I wasn't accidentally giving false information. Anyway, my therapist does phone calls and not video calls. Is it possible you can ask them to do a phone call instead since you can't do video calls?

>>1006
Exercise really helps tbh but my kneecaps absolutely despise squats. I end up doing yoga a lot of the time and then walking on the treadmill. Works just as good for me.

No.1015

>>1007
I'm too scared about the phone calls being recorded. I probably wouldn't really talk about anything specific or be truthful being on the phone.

No.1035

>>984
most of your paranoid/anxious thinking will be solved by just eating food. yeah, exercise is good too as other anons have said, but eating is primarily important. second is sleep. third is exercise.


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No. 592 [Reply]

I read once that if you go deep enough through your anus, you can reach the spleen.
Suposedly massaging the spleen internally grants an incredibly intense sensation, like a constant orgasm that doesn't run out.
Couldn't find any info on Google, i doubt there's any truth to it, but i'm still curious nonetheless, have you guys ever heard anything about it?
11 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.979

>>592
You're being trolled. They're trying to get you to die embarrassingly.

No.980

I suspect someone just got the spleen and prostate confused

No.981

Follow your dreams :^)

No.982

This thread makes me exceedingly uncomfortable.

No.1008

This is from Guts by Chuck Palahniuk by the way. Gross read, don't recommend it.


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No. 975 [Reply]

I always get to work on time. I always do my job. I get a workout. I'm good to my mother. Why am I still so unsatisfied with myself? Why am I never enough, why am I always inadequate?

No.978

File: 1598886658352.jpeg (83.91 KB, 1073x572, Drawing.jpeg)

>>975
If you really do all these things, you aren't inadequate. As for not feeling satisfied with yourself… who knows?

I don't know a lot about life. I'm 15 and I'm not that smart. From what I can gather, people raise kids to fill something in their life. They get married. They buy land, and pick up hobbies. They build things with their hands, like a shed or something. I dunno.

No.983

File: 1599214358796.png (8.88 KB, 310x163, pyramid.png)

From what you described you seem to have the main 4 levels down, Working and loving for your fellow samaritans, but What bout you? Does working out act as a fulfilling third place between work & home? Is there any aspirations & passions you'd want to make space & time for

No.998

>>983
Everything above survival needs aren't needs. Further the distinction between safety and physiological needs is bunk. There are survival needs—the things without which you simply cannot be—and there is what you really want to do with your life. Without satisfying your survival needs, it'll be difficult to do what you really want to do. Some persons don't really have any special desires, so they'll be fine with just maximizing the satisfaction of their survival needs. I really only care about one thing, so that's what I built my life around. In terms of satisfying my needs, I figured a way to do that that's integrated with that lifestyle, so I never feel like I have to `work' to survive: I live in my own happy little world.
>>975
The problem seems to be that what you're doing with your life is not what you really want to be doing with your life, or it is but there's something missing. You should know more about your life than I do, so I won't tell you what changes will work for you, but there are some general suggestions about how to figure it out. As banal as it sounds, trying different things tends to be a good place to start.
It could also be a mental health condition. If lifestyle changes don't improve your malaise, professional help may be beneficial.

No.1005

I think I'd like to raise crickets.


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No. 583 [Reply]

Does anyone like tarot?
I don't use them to try to foresee my future, but I like to appeal to the symbolism as a way to gain a different perspective on the present. I find the symbolism to be very deep and almost archetypal. Like old folk tales, different artists have made their own interpretations and representations of the cards over many years. Their true value and power has persisted through these various variations.
Two people just quit at my job right before the start of holiday season, and one of my tires went flat. But, drawing this card reminds me to stand tall and stay resilient, despite any past blows.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.658

BTW this isnt op

No.659

>>656
I know.
>>657
And I know.

I just want to get into because it seems fun.

No.660

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I do Tarot. Been doing so I was 15 and got a Rider Waite deck from my mom for birthday.

I also own a Crowley Thoth.

I can try to help answer questions if needed.

No.977

I use tarot in two ways, and one of them is has taken me into undesirable states a few times, so I tend to stick to the psychological model.

Tarot's like a Rorschach test. Tarot's meaning and imagery is sort of based on Jungian archetypes; common elements that exist in all human psyche.

When you ask a question or just pull cards, your subconscious projects what it wants you to see. It's like a dream. You don't control dreams, some other part of your mind you aren't aware of at the present is pulling the strings, putting on a play for you. Tarot allows you to do the same thing, but on top of a framework.

For instance, when you pull the Ace of Wands, which signifies new artistic or passion-driven work, don't interpret it as "you'll get inspired". Just see the card, and allow your mind to project what it wants, which is often the deepest thing you want, but might have been avoiding for reasons x y.

I prefer Past Present Future draws.

Past indicates the pattern/idea/thing that set up the situation
Present is the current situation
Future is what could possibly end up happening if you stay on this course.

No.986

>>660
Why does Rider-Waite add all that extra symbolism on the minor cards that earlier decks like Marseilles don't have?


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No. 429 [Reply]

Anyone else doing this?

I know a lot of people are skeptical of any health benefits that could be gained from not wagglin your willly and idk if there are true health benefits myself, but I know for sure I am addicted to pornography and I want to stop. I have many personal reasons as to why I want to stop masturbating and watching porn.

So thoughts on nofap?
Tips and tricks to help fight the urge when it comes?

No.430

I don't know about health benefits and I can see it being a harm if you are used to jerking yourself more than once a day and then going to 0 for a long time.

It's certainly an act of self discipline though. If you manage to hold this for a whole month I'm sure you'll find the will and energy to do other things like study or medidate.

Best of luck anon.

No.432

>>430
I'm also of the opinion that it's more of an exercise in self-control than anything. I personally fap a few times a day even though I, "don't want to." but it definitely saps my motivation after I'm done.

My only cure is to keep busy, but even working 12 hours a day isn't busy enough, so honestly it's really hard for me to go more than a couple days without coming across some anime grill thumbnail that boils my oil.

No.957

>>432
What helped me was ceasing to use porn while masturbating. Not even using my imagination to picture sexually arousing images.

Now simply seeing porn doesn't instantly turn me on and I masturbate just when I actually want to do it. I crave the process and the feeling, rather than the pornography.

That's not so say that my fap frequency fell extremely low immediately, there are periods of time when it fluctuates, but my masturbation patterns and sexual arousal feel healthier than they were prior to absenting my self from porn

No.958

>health benefits
There are huge health benefits, especially if you replace the habit with something productive/healthy. Men who are addicted to masturbating will end up getting no pleasure from it eventually because they've constantly got this death grip on their dick (desensitization) meaning they will eventually never be able to cum from sex or getting sucked off. The high you get from cumming lasts a few seconds but destroying your dick will last forever. That will fuck up any of your future relationships because you'll be shit in bed. You'll probably struggle to even get it up. It will make your partner believe that you don't love them if you can't get hard or get no sexual pleasure from being with them. Your dick will thank you for not strangling it on a regular basis.

>psychological benefits
Porn fucks up your perception of reality. It affects your self-confidence. It affects how you see women. People with an addiction keep going for more and more extreme porn, you could never sustain a healthy relationship with another person in the future if the only thing that will get you off is piss and shit and strangulation. Think about how that could get you into trouble one day if what you're watching is illegal or looked down on by society. It affects how you see people in the office, your family, your friends and strangers on the street, you're seeing them as objects instead of living, breathing humans. It will affect your worldview, your politics and your morals. No partner will ever be good enough for you because they don't look/act like what you see in porn (especially if you're into hentai or something totally unrealistic like furries). When you stop watching porn, your confidence returns and you have much, much better relationships with everyone around you.

No.959

>>958
>replacing the habit
You're addicted to jerking off because it gives your brain chemical rush. It's temporary and then you go back to being bored/depressed. When you get the urge, if you can replace it with something that excites you (music, roller coasters, horror films, running), relaxes you (meditation, yoga, drinking tea), makes you happy (watching a film, listening to a podcast, reading) makes you feel accomplished (cooking, painting, journaling, DIY), helps you bond with someone (your partner/family/friends/pet) etc. then you will break your addiction and have a hobby that you can actually share with others. Better yet, use a combination of all of those things. Imagine the things you could create or consume with the hours you spend organizing your creepy porn folders. Think about why you consume porn and then try to find something that will give you the same high or joy or state of relaxation.

>if all else fails…
Educate yourself on the industry. This won't work for the most addicted people because they've already conditioned their brains into seeing porn stars and victims of revenge porn as objects but after a few weeks of going cold turkey, this will have more of an impact. Read accounts from porn starts who have left, interviews with directors and see how little they care about their actors/you. Human trafficking. Revenge porn. See the impact porn has on the lives of everyone involved in filming but also of those who become addicted (NEETs, divorcees, dead bedrooms, incels). Read accounts of people who have had their relationships/careers/lives destroyed by porn, people who have been sexually assaulted, court cases where people took their fetishes too far and actually hurt/killed someone. If you feel empathy, you can't enjoy porn.


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No. 615 [Reply]

Anon, did you make resolutions for the new year? Goals you want to follow? Bad habits to get rid of, good habits to get used to? This is the thread for discussion and sharing experience.

Note: Resolutions are not unique to new years. This thread is about the discussion of every goal we try to achieve in this year. If you started a day or a month into 2020, no worries. We would still like to hear what you have to say.

Mine are:
>Reduce fast food, once in 4 weeks (last time I went on the 28th so I can't go sooner than the 25th this month)
>Greatly limit internet time to 2h (using the internet for work does not count)
>Start the day by reading
>No sodas or alcohol
>Drink 4 of water every day

Remember not to beat yourself up by saying things like "Everyone breaks their resolution." or "Same shit every year.". Attitudes like this keep one stuck in the mud. Getting rid of such negativity can be the first goal.
If you rebound, you haven't failed. Losing track of your goal is the only way to fail so keep going and mind your actions.

This thread was made in 2020 but counts for all years after too.
16 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.758

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>>755
Anon, this may come off as the last suggestion you may have thought of hearing but I know a site that caters to images of all kinda, low to high brow, entirely depending on the user's choice.
Tumblr.

It is possible to make a quiet blog, only follow other blogs that post images or reblog them and not have much in terms of "social"-media. The website is flawed and has a (partly justified) bad rep but unlike all the other webspaces I've seen it allows for a very peaceful and homely experience.
It has a tagging system that allows you to add certain tags to posts to make it easier to find on a blog.

I hope you may find a place of rest to enjoy peace of mind.
I love Simberg too.

No.760

File: 1580919244327.jpg (187.26 KB, 424x999, tuonelan-portilla-1898.jpg)

>>758
That's actually an interesting suggestion that I hadn't thought of. I had tried using tumblr in the past, but I found it difficult to navigate and search through things, and even nice blogs often tended toward endless series of reblogs so you couldn't find out where it came from if you wanted more.

That said I think it's probably a good idea to try it out again. Thanks anon.

Yeah, Simberg is great, bright and comfy while also being somewhat melancholic and nostalgic at the same time.

No.789

>>615
OP back for a monthly update.
The hardest by far is the internet consumption. I have decided upon a different strategy with which I hope to eventually reach a point of little to not waste of time.

Instead of counting the hours, I forbid myself from going to the internet before noon. The week after, before 1PM. Then 2PM. Then 3PM. And so on,

There will be days when I have to check something earlier obviously but I think with this approach I might do better than up until now.

No.790

>>789
I'm also trying to formulate a plan with internet consumption. I'm trying to limit myself from getting on websites that take up more time and working my way down my bookmarks and try to space everything out that way I'm doing more. It's very difficult as I am almost certain I have autism with how difficult choices are on me when there's infinite ones of them with what websites to use and what communities to be a part of. But I'm trying to work on my selective process and my decisive skills.

No.949

>>748
>>789
I am also sick of the internet and I want to go, but I don't consume anything already. I stick around because I want to share my artwork but I have negative infinite self-esteem and social phobias so I can't function outside of anonymous websites. If I make two posts in a row under the same nickname I feel like I'm suffocating. I wanted to make an account on ArtStation and just seeing mandatory name/surname fields made me feel nauseous.
It's completely irrational since I do or say nothing that would warrant this kind of fear, I am just terrified of putting myself out there in the world and I'm slowly growing old while opportunities, people and everything else pass by.
Fear really is the mind killer. I don't know how to recover. Even professional help couldn't fix this psychosis.
I have no idea why I'm posting this here right now, I normally lurk. I'm going through such a troubled phase.


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No. 908 [Reply]

I didn’t know what board to put this under. I figured “mind” worked well. Art thread, post things you’re proud of. I made this with my girlfriend, enjoy
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.921

>>913
Relax.

No.942

File: 1594233057990.jpg (180.21 KB, 640x480, omori.jpg)

>>908
really cool art, OP

No.943

>>942
very good photo
reminds me of my high school days

No.947

>>908
>random swastika
basido

No.948

>>908
really nice stuff


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No. 879 [Reply]

Lately, I've been struggling with keeping a positive attitude and continuing on being productive in these trying times. In the spirit of this, I decided to make a thread about the battle for constant self-improvement! I saw an anon on /fit/ recommend this guide, and read through it. It was very brusque but I did find a lot of parallels between my life and that of failure avoidance tactics that we either conciously or unconciously employ.

https://raouldify.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/2011_1203-the-flinch.pdf

Do any of you anons have any similar resources/experiences/advice?
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.888

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https://kotchan.org/chat/int

No.889

>>888
stop

No.890

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>>887
Please don't neglect the importance of earmuffs or earplugs, especially if you're going to be doing lawn work often and for hours at a time.

No.929

I was having zoom therapy course as part of a legal case. I found that my low moods come from me not working and being productive enough but that came from me not working as much cause of my accident. I started getting more productive and making more money again and have felt a lot better for it. So my therpay stopped. Ive been tired last few days but I will make myself get out there again.
Ive also told myself I cant drink until I reach certain goals, perhaps by then I wont want to. SO be productive and have goals is my advice.

No.938

I fail to see the benefit of a "positive attitude". Falling for the Cult of Positivity has no relevance to the real world.


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No. 819 [Reply]

Last night was… bad… I had a psychotic episode and I called a friend I hardly know 23 times. I don't even remember what dumb shit I said to get.

I woke up this morning and found a sticky note on my bed telling me to call her when I was feeling better. I stressed out about calling her but I eventually manned up and called her. It went… Shockingly well, actually. So well that I've actually got a date lined up for Saturday. Life is funny.
18 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.902

Any updates?

>>901
What, so you can't share your issues with the person you're having a relationship with? Do you know what a relationship is? If the girl is really just doing this out of sympathy for OP, that will show very quickly. I can hardly see how this will 'destroy' the girl unless OP is an XXXTentacion-type violent depressive.

No.903

>>902
What part of
>a friend I hardly know
implies they were in a relationship?

No.910

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No.917

>>911
>>912
why are you posting pictures from your facebook?

No.920

>>919
who are these girls anyway?


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No. 798 [Reply]

I'm not feeling good.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.808

>>803
Not OP, but I've had the flu for two weeks before. It was a really nasty case that almost killed me a few years back. I got hospitalized over it. I had never been so sick in my entire life.

No.809

>>808
idk if thats the flu… that's pneumonia!

No.812

>>808
>>809
OP here. Got out of the hospital last night. I went in thinking I had pneumonia (had started to exhibit all the symptoms, really). It was pretty quick as far as ER visits go and everything was free (thank god). I have bronchitis though and they did find a small number of solid particles in my lungs as well. I've been feeling a lot better since.

No.813

>>812
glad you're ok, anon

No.815

>>809
When I was hospitalized they ran some tests and confirmed it was the flu. Unless they are just incompetent and was wrong. Wouldn't surprise me, the hospital here really sucks.

>>812
That's good that you're doing better. What do you plan on doing once you're back to 100%?


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