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File: 1636843617161.png (736.07 KB, 551x816, hugs.png)

No. 1172 [Reply]

Since the first one hit a bump limit
"Bottling only makes it harder.
This thread is intented for people who would like to rant and write out their feelings.

It's possible to just spill everything in the textbox, explain it detailed or even write poems/haikus or stories, whatever your want.
You can give yourself a time- or character limit if you feel overwhelmed with writing down all that is going on.
You may also ask for advice or similiar.


It's hard to keep up a happy face, don't hide under a mask in order to lie to yourself.
Be honest with yourself and your feelings, that's the first step towards self improvement"
20 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.1221

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>>1220
I pray that you find somebody better and treat you better as well.

No.1227

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things are getting better. only about a year left of school before i can transfer to get my bachelors. have enough savings that i don't need to work until then. been taking nice long walks, enjoying nature. slowly but surely selling off 95% of my belongings before i have to leave. it's sort of solemn, but also freeing. even if things don't work out, at least i know each day i'm actively planning to make life better for my future-self.

No.1228

Promising myself cigarettes for doing work actually pays off. I never "rewarded" myself yet but the illusion of there being one gets me going.

No.1253

1/2

"I'll be dead by 30. lol."
- Me at 18, 17, 16…

"I'll be dead by 30. lol"
- Me now

I'm pretty close to achieving my goals I set for myself as a kid. I've done the things that were bothering me as a kid. Finished most of the games I never was able to do, achieved most of my academic goals that I thought I would never be able to accomplish, and actually got a job in my field for about a month. If I'm able to get another job, regardless, I'll have completed everything me as a kid though I would never have done. I didn't have much faith in myself, so it's nothing special. I'm not talking about getting an advanced degree. Just things that I never would have thought I could achieved. Thanks to the support system I have, of course. I feel like a bit of a fraud compared to others, but in retrospect, those ideas and philosophy system is my enemy.

No.1254

2/2

I've grown tired of the internet. Things aren't that funny any more. I can hardly laugh at anything. I don't like reading, and I don't like movies or television. It's hard to even watch my favorite show. Learning is something I prize, but I just don't have the passion to learn. I think school has driven that out of me. I'm further becoming more hostile to the United States and its fun antics. Definitely not the most friendly country out there towards others. The CIA could probably be called a terrorist organization for what mettling it's done in other countries. I don't particularly want to talk about it though.

I am not sure what I'm going to do for the rest of my life, actually. Mostly in free time, probably. Nothing's really interesting any more. I'm more waiting to see what's going to happen than what I'll be doing. Hopefully I can waste enough time to see Dwarf Fortress blossom into a beautiful woman. In the meantime, I guess, I'll force myself to watch more movies and maybe read some books. I don't really like books, but classic movies were pretty memorable and fun in a way.


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No. 1229 [Reply]

https://herdchannel.net
http://db7kfnb2osqnmedbxwdrua2ute2tmcvncnajhmldgckni3d5rs7tiwqd.onion/

We're back! After a large DDOS attack herdchannel has returned, with more preventative measures taken to ensure similar events do not take place in the future.
We have board creation, 8 file per post uploads, a lack or unjust rulecuckery, full Tor support and more.
Also we have buffalo paizuri and fun.

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No. 1207 [Reply]

i have this weird thing that when i think of some specific topics its assosiated with a kind of 3d area of places in my town in my brain and i kind of move around that place in a loop as i think of said subject and ive been able to kind of map what things are what places but its very random (one of them is a book and its connected to a building on the outskirts of my town that i dont even see that much) so yeah kinda wacky. Anyone know anything about something lke that or what it is? ive had it for years

No.1208

>>1207

This really sounds like a memory palace to me, you could look a bit into it ! I belive it's also called "method of loci", it's a really old way to remember things that unfortunately never worked for me…

No.1231

>>1208
Always wanted to try the memory palace. I think mine would be like the place in Myst


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No. 1215 [Reply]

Not sure what beard to post this on, but I'm thinking of putting an itasha wrap on my car. Someone I live with keeps borrowing my car keys and forgetting to return them and it's annoying me. Since she is conservative and freaked out by lesbians if I were to put a yuri wrap around the car of two anime girls in a passionate embrace I think she would be too embarrassed and would just drive her own damn car. I could handle getting weird looks until the sun fries the wrap and makes the colors faded and I have to remove it in a few years. I'm only worried because I'd have to park the car on a busy street and the novelty might make it a target for theives who want a joyride.

I'm trying to think of a good series. Since I'm out of touch with the new anime brainstorming only brought to mind: Lucky Star, Flip-Flappers, the Acceleration of Suguri, Ghost in the Shell, Serial Experiments in Lain, Simoun…

Any ideas?

No.1216

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>>1215
Passive agressive actions only serve to perpetuate cycles of misunderstanding and suffering.

What makes you feel you are unable to communicate your issues with this person directly?


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No. 628 [Reply]

Sitting in class watching some kids eat edibles while the professor is literally none the wiser. I can't help myself from wondering how miserable of a person you need to be in order to do drugs in the middle of class. I feel bad for them, honestly.

Drugs are fun while they last, but they're really not good for you. Share your wacky experiences with them.

Thhis is bad thred btw
11 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.666

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>>663
>>665
It's important to be in a safe environment when you do it, and the best trip is inward - darkness and silence. Do not fight the experience, surrender to it, observe it. It won't last forever. If you go into it safely and excited to see what it has to offer, like you seem to be, it should go smoothly.

No.667

>>663
That's not a good idea

No.1150

>>663
Realistically shrooms wont cure anything. They aren't an access to ayyliens, the demiurge, or anything else. At best it allows you to get in touch with your subconscious, at worse you open up a worm can you cant close. There are much safer ways to access your subconscious, see Jung's works. You wont be able to fix any issues that appear during psyches without knowing what to look for. If you're doing it for fun feel free, but take it slow and keep a benzo or two on hand if shit gets a bit too heavy to handle.

No.1151

>>665
I am planning on growing mushrooms here soon for my very first time. Probably will try to do so a few times a year for personal use only. I've heard the rumors that you described about LSD along with other market drugs as well. There's a few that I personally want to try out but have been quite hesitant.

>Personally after tripping on LSD I only became more sure that I should kill myself
Do you only suffer from depression?

No.1211

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doing drugs while class is in session is :( i think its all in moderation. lsd and shrooms are reflections of your emotion so whenever people tell me they took acid at like 3 pm in their sad, dark apartment with people they don't know well it's like of course youre going to have a dog shit trip. i try and peak at like 1 pm


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No. 1184 [Reply]

happy new year can't wait for the same old shit while things never get better

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No. 1168 [Reply]

Well, so to keep it short I'm feeling like I've missed out on my teens, which I fear will make my adulthood worse than it normally should be. Let me explain in a long rant.

basically all my teenage years I had to deal with anxiety disorder. Which if you want to study or socialize, you can imagine how fucking annoying that is if you feel shortness of breath, chest pain, feeling like you're about to piss your pants, etc. So essentially every day felt a bit like surivival that sucked dry much of "youthfullness" I might have had.

Furthermore I had, and still do, have issues with people. In the past I saw everyone as being above me in every way. As if I was from a different planet and essentially felt like I needed to protect myself from them cause one wrong move and they would be out to get me. So in essence I don't trust people. I've lost the idea that people are above me though, because how pathethic I may be, I've also realized that lot of people have also extremely petty reasons for insecurity and what not, so i've realized I'm not doing all that bad on that front. But still, I just can't imagine trusting people. It just seems so alien to me to be friends. I never had friends for what is now like 8 years.
[1/2]

No.1169

So finally, I feel like that has left a mark on me and will make me even more different as time goes on. Because people had their teenage years. They had friends, had careless fun at parties, got into relationships. I've essentially just learned to hold myself together and I just feel different. Others have youth in them, energy, passion. While I as time went one essentially became more and more apathethic, with mostly bad emotions buried beneath the surface that come out if something reminds me of this and I start questioning if I missed out. The positive thing I guess from this is that I've learned to have determination, to be thoughful and have discipiline, but I still feel wrong. These things can be aquired at any time. What I missed on I have only few years left to (partly) do.

Also I don't have any place to even gain these experiences. High school ended, and my college has nothing. I just basically walk in, work on my laptop for few hours, and return home. There's nothing exciting to even do there, nothing happens. I just don't know what to do really. Should I go to a therapist with this, or is this something that I have to figure out on my own?
[2/2]

No.1170

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>>1168
if you can afford it, therapy is always not a bad idea to at least try.

but what you're feeling, like your youth has been cut short, i can guarantee you almost everyone on the planet feels to some degree. also: teenage/college parties are a lot more hellish than you are probably romanticizing them to be. a lot of kids getting way too drunk and high, some overdosing mixing booze with pills, a lot of unwanted sex with intoxicated people, it's really kind of awful.if I were you, I would focus my therapy more on encouraging socialization, they will help you figure out ways to ease up to it and fight cognitive distortions you have regarding meeting new people.

if you focus your therapy on this feeling of 'missing you' you are likely to never get anywhere fruitful - that feeling of a 'missing' piece of ourselves somewhere out in the world is pretty much just the instinct that gets us to meet people and not die alone. there are a lot of opportunities now more than ever to meet people through the internet, find small niches you enjoy and talk to other people interested in them. i'm not really one for bars or 'normal' spots to socialize i can really relate to feeling cut off in that regard. but there are millions of people out there just as eager to socialize as you are, and probably a lot of them coming from a similar place of struggle with anxiety.

No.1176

>>1170
Hey, OP here. While some things still are bad, I managed to get a big chunk of the issues out of myself by searching around, reading stuff about it and thinking about it. One of the issues I had with myself was that I internalized that there's something wrong with me, which made me feel bad because every time someone showed me any reaction that wasn't positive, (although I read every positive reaction as someone trying to trick me anyway) I felt it was because of something being off about me. And I had this since I was very young because I used to be someone who would be easy to get bullied for few reasons and my explanation for that there was just something wrong with me. But the thing is that even if that would be true, I would be ignored. Not hated. If you see someone as below you, you ignore them. You don't attack them with passion. You do that when you need to feel better about yourself. I realized that and I felt years of trauma disappear at once. I wasn't hated because there was something wrong with me, I was hated because petty and mentally weak people used me to feel better about themselves. I felt like I was born anew for few days after I realized that. that feeling passed away by now, but what remained is a feeling of fortitude. I just can't no longer be hurt by remarks about myself. I feel I'm above that and it really feels freeing. Hopefully I'll get to heal my mind more with time, but I felt like sharing this.


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No. 1117 [Reply]

The longest streak I've done was about 7-8 days. Even then, I felt positive effects. I can't seem to beat that score.
Any tips?
18 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

No.1160

>>1156
>What do you think women do?
So men are women now?

No.1161

>>1157
>>1160
You're both arguing with me, but what was your reason for going no fap in the first place? Porn/unhealthy fapping rots your brain and if you see women in your life as sexual objects, it's going to fuck with your day to day.

If you can imagine a realistic image of someone you know, I'm sure you have the capability to imagine a fake person too.

No.1162

>>1161
porn doesn't 'rot your brain' you puritan. most people can have fantasies of people in their life while maintaining objective reality. obviously the best way to mitigate both problems is to get a real dedicated sexual and emotional partner.

No.1163

>>1162
Having someone to satisfy your emotional and sexual needs does not stop porn from ruining your life. There's many people who continue watching porn after marriage and end up getting divorced because they start preferring porn and the high they get from fapping over their wife and either refuse sex entirely or begin cheating on their wives with someone who is more similar to the pornstars they watch or more willing to reenact what they see in porn. I disagree with >>1161 that masturbating to women you know is somehow worse than porn since imagination doesn't carry the same influence as visuals do but porn does rot your brain and has ruined many marriages due to people being unable to separate what they watch from what they have in real life.

No.1167

>>1163
sounds like beta men who didn't want more than sex from the relationship in the first place. men will cheat on women whether they are watching porn or not, just seems to be a convenient scapegoat instead of holding the men accountable. i love porn and i've never had a problem staying loyal to the women i've been with. if anything the women i've been with have always been into way kinkier shit than me. really depends upon the man and the context more than the material itself. just like drugs, booze, just like anything, it's more complicated than blaming an evil scapegoat boogeyman.


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No. 1129 [Reply]

My most recent comment from one of those internet checkpoint videos, pasted here.

Note: I am 14.

Earlier today I was listening to Flying Lotus, and this one track he did for Adult Swim years ago. And I look to the comments and see people who were really nostalgic for this type of stuff, and were nostalgic for their adolescence. I cried, because I wish my life was as simple as all of theirs when they were my age. I was raised not really having any friends and constantly being bullied over shit that's out of my control. The pandemic made everything worse and worse. I have some friends now but they live really far from me and I can't visit them because I'm not vaccinated yet.

As I said in my last comment, I've gotten therapy, and I'm taking a break from social media now that most of my old online friends have turned against me over something I never meant. I'm starting to feel like I've been living a lie. I don't want the rest of my adolescence to be filled with strife and disappointment. Another thing, starting a Twitter account has become my biggest regret. I deactivated it nine months ago, but the side effects still stand on, I always get into arguments with my dad about stuff I shouldn't even be arguing about in the first place. I've been realizing now that I have serious anger issues over things that are pretty much meaningless and not in my control. Another reason as to why I'm getting therapy. I feel like it's become my only way of channeling out sadness. I just want my life to be or at least feel somewhat normal. I don't want to have to deal with any of this, I just want to live a life in peace and simplicity. God help me…

No.1130

Good luck underage-kun.

No.1135

It doesn't get easier.

No.1136

>>1129
if you keep waiting for things you get better or 'normal' you're going to die having not done anything. find solace in something you can do, now. or the days you lay waiting will pass you by before you realize.


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No. 263 [Reply]

Why do I have no discipline?
Why can't I do anything?
23 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.1124

>>1123
reach out to people

No.1125

>>1124

What do you mean by reach out? Professional help isn't an option because I can't financially afford it, and people at my school have been nearly impossible to become friends with - even when I completely put myself out there and try being involved in things like clubs.

No.1126

>>1125
between all people there is mutual suffering and mutual joy, we are all humans after all, no matter how divided we may feel, we all fear and hurt and love and cry. keep trying to meet people half-way because there is literally nothing else to do with life

No.1127

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>>263
Not going to pretend like it's perfect solution to everything, but I keep myself going with three things.

First is to simply have no nothing done days. Unless you are sick or something, you can always do something in a day no matter how big or small. Never allow yourself a day of nothing unless you have a good reason to.

Secondly is that if you like for instance art, but you don't know how to draw well, remember that in months or years from now you will be in the same position. But if you drag yourself now next time you won't be as clueless to drawing as you were before and you will be able to do more and get closer to your goal.

thirdly is just to try doing something for 15 minutes. If it doesn't work, fine. Just leave it be. But I can assure you that the more you do this, the easier that 15 minutes will become and today's 30 minutes will become today's 15.

No.1128

Is there anything you want to do specifically?


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