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/bm/ - Body & Mind

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No. 628 [Reply]

Sitting in class watching some kids eat edibles while the professor is literally none the wiser. I can't help myself from wondering how miserable of a person you need to be in order to do drugs in the middle of class. I feel bad for them, honestly.

Drugs are fun while they last, but they're really not good for you. Share your wacky experiences with them.

Thhis is bad thred btw
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It's important to be in a safe environment when you do it, and the best trip is inward - darkness and silence. Do not fight the experience, surrender to it, observe it. It won't last forever. If you go into it safely and excited to see what it has to offer, like you seem to be, it should go smoothly.


That's not a good idea


Realistically shrooms wont cure anything. They aren't an access to ayyliens, the demiurge, or anything else. At best it allows you to get in touch with your subconscious, at worse you open up a worm can you cant close. There are much safer ways to access your subconscious, see Jung's works. You wont be able to fix any issues that appear during psyches without knowing what to look for. If you're doing it for fun feel free, but take it slow and keep a benzo or two on hand if shit gets a bit too heavy to handle.


I am planning on growing mushrooms here soon for my very first time. Probably will try to do so a few times a year for personal use only. I've heard the rumors that you described about LSD along with other market drugs as well. There's a few that I personally want to try out but have been quite hesitant.

>Personally after tripping on LSD I only became more sure that I should kill myself

Do you only suffer from depression?


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doing drugs while class is in session is :( i think its all in moderation. lsd and shrooms are reflections of your emotion so whenever people tell me they took acid at like 3 pm in their sad, dark apartment with people they don't know well it's like of course youre going to have a dog shit trip. i try and peak at like 1 pm

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No. 1184 [Reply]

happy new year can't wait for the same old shit while things never get better

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No. 1168 [Reply]

Well, so to keep it short I'm feeling like I've missed out on my teens, which I fear will make my adulthood worse than it normally should be. Let me explain in a long rant.

basically all my teenage years I had to deal with anxiety disorder. Which if you want to study or socialize, you can imagine how fucking annoying that is if you feel shortness of breath, chest pain, feeling like you're about to piss your pants, etc. So essentially every day felt a bit like surivival that sucked dry much of "youthfullness" I might have had.

Furthermore I had, and still do, have issues with people. In the past I saw everyone as being above me in every way. As if I was from a different planet and essentially felt like I needed to protect myself from them cause one wrong move and they would be out to get me. So in essence I don't trust people. I've lost the idea that people are above me though, because how pathethic I may be, I've also realized that lot of people have also extremely petty reasons for insecurity and what not, so i've realized I'm not doing all that bad on that front. But still, I just can't imagine trusting people. It just seems so alien to me to be friends. I never had friends for what is now like 8 years.


So finally, I feel like that has left a mark on me and will make me even more different as time goes on. Because people had their teenage years. They had friends, had careless fun at parties, got into relationships. I've essentially just learned to hold myself together and I just feel different. Others have youth in them, energy, passion. While I as time went one essentially became more and more apathethic, with mostly bad emotions buried beneath the surface that come out if something reminds me of this and I start questioning if I missed out. The positive thing I guess from this is that I've learned to have determination, to be thoughful and have discipiline, but I still feel wrong. These things can be aquired at any time. What I missed on I have only few years left to (partly) do.

Also I don't have any place to even gain these experiences. High school ended, and my college has nothing. I just basically walk in, work on my laptop for few hours, and return home. There's nothing exciting to even do there, nothing happens. I just don't know what to do really. Should I go to a therapist with this, or is this something that I have to figure out on my own?


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if you can afford it, therapy is always not a bad idea to at least try.

but what you're feeling, like your youth has been cut short, i can guarantee you almost everyone on the planet feels to some degree. also: teenage/college parties are a lot more hellish than you are probably romanticizing them to be. a lot of kids getting way too drunk and high, some overdosing mixing booze with pills, a lot of unwanted sex with intoxicated people, it's really kind of awful.if I were you, I would focus my therapy more on encouraging socialization, they will help you figure out ways to ease up to it and fight cognitive distortions you have regarding meeting new people.

if you focus your therapy on this feeling of 'missing you' you are likely to never get anywhere fruitful - that feeling of a 'missing' piece of ourselves somewhere out in the world is pretty much just the instinct that gets us to meet people and not die alone. there are a lot of opportunities now more than ever to meet people through the internet, find small niches you enjoy and talk to other people interested in them. i'm not really one for bars or 'normal' spots to socialize i can really relate to feeling cut off in that regard. but there are millions of people out there just as eager to socialize as you are, and probably a lot of them coming from a similar place of struggle with anxiety.


Hey, OP here. While some things still are bad, I managed to get a big chunk of the issues out of myself by searching around, reading stuff about it and thinking about it. One of the issues I had with myself was that I internalized that there's something wrong with me, which made me feel bad because every time someone showed me any reaction that wasn't positive, (although I read every positive reaction as someone trying to trick me anyway) I felt it was because of something being off about me. And I had this since I was very young because I used to be someone who would be easy to get bullied for few reasons and my explanation for that there was just something wrong with me. But the thing is that even if that would be true, I would be ignored. Not hated. If you see someone as below you, you ignore them. You don't attack them with passion. You do that when you need to feel better about yourself. I realized that and I felt years of trauma disappear at once. I wasn't hated because there was something wrong with me, I was hated because petty and mentally weak people used me to feel better about themselves. I felt like I was born anew for few days after I realized that. that feeling passed away by now, but what remained is a feeling of fortitude. I just can't no longer be hurt by remarks about myself. I feel I'm above that and it really feels freeing. Hopefully I'll get to heal my mind more with time, but I felt like sharing this.

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No. 1117 [Reply]

The longest streak I've done was about 7-8 days. Even then, I felt positive effects. I can't seem to beat that score.
Any tips?
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>What do you think women do?
So men are women now?


You're both arguing with me, but what was your reason for going no fap in the first place? Porn/unhealthy fapping rots your brain and if you see women in your life as sexual objects, it's going to fuck with your day to day.

If you can imagine a realistic image of someone you know, I'm sure you have the capability to imagine a fake person too.


porn doesn't 'rot your brain' you puritan. most people can have fantasies of people in their life while maintaining objective reality. obviously the best way to mitigate both problems is to get a real dedicated sexual and emotional partner.


Having someone to satisfy your emotional and sexual needs does not stop porn from ruining your life. There's many people who continue watching porn after marriage and end up getting divorced because they start preferring porn and the high they get from fapping over their wife and either refuse sex entirely or begin cheating on their wives with someone who is more similar to the pornstars they watch or more willing to reenact what they see in porn. I disagree with >>1161 that masturbating to women you know is somehow worse than porn since imagination doesn't carry the same influence as visuals do but porn does rot your brain and has ruined many marriages due to people being unable to separate what they watch from what they have in real life.


sounds like beta men who didn't want more than sex from the relationship in the first place. men will cheat on women whether they are watching porn or not, just seems to be a convenient scapegoat instead of holding the men accountable. i love porn and i've never had a problem staying loyal to the women i've been with. if anything the women i've been with have always been into way kinkier shit than me. really depends upon the man and the context more than the material itself. just like drugs, booze, just like anything, it's more complicated than blaming an evil scapegoat boogeyman.

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No. 1104 [Reply]

How do we live knowing this is it?
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a very good philosophy!


This is more or less how I feel too. Admittedly it took spending my entire teens and early 20's depressed but I got there in the end. Sadly I don't know how to help depressed people other than assuring them that it can get better. Hang in there guys <3


I will, anon.


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Every relationship is transient. I've had an awful reminder of that recently with someone who left, although frankly speaking I'd rather never see him again. Childish in retrospect but although the conversation was childish it meant enough to me.
Maybe it's my fault that I ended up this way. I keep every single person at arm's length and never bother starting conversations myself, and all of my efforts to otherwise branch out and be more social have always simply ended with my voice getting caught in my throat. Those series where angels come down on people and offer unconditional love must've been made for people like me. The kind of people in real life who'd do that are always people who just want to hoist themselves on you and make you pledge alligeance to them.
Maybe I should just stop looking for friends. That's been the reocurring theme for me this past year. Looking for friends. And everywhere I turn, it's someone trying to choke me into being their personal little bitch. They're like wannabe cult leaders. There's solace in the lonliness, and no matter how my life goes, it'll end in lonliness anyways. I'm never going to end up having kids, and may never end up having a wife either. It's more than likely the fault of my own personal philosophies that I end up this way, I'm sure others have a far easier time making anything resembling a relationship.
I had more to say but apparently there's an incredibly stringent character limit on this site.


Thank you for this post, it does give me some hope. I am currently 24, 25 soon, and I have been depressed since 13. Sometimes it improved, sometimes it worsened. Anyway, any tips how to fight depression?
I try to be like that but I honestly don't know how. I would like to do things, but I don't even know what. At least I started to take care of my health, appreciate being healthy and going outside to enjoy some sunshine and fresh air. I started exercising too.
I would be interested in reading more of it. I miss having friends and yet I crave silence and solitude. Haibane Renmei is a great show, I love it. Always happy seeing people talking about it.

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No. 1129 [Reply]

My most recent comment from one of those internet checkpoint videos, pasted here.

Note: I am 14.

Earlier today I was listening to Flying Lotus, and this one track he did for Adult Swim years ago. And I look to the comments and see people who were really nostalgic for this type of stuff, and were nostalgic for their adolescence. I cried, because I wish my life was as simple as all of theirs when they were my age. I was raised not really having any friends and constantly being bullied over shit that's out of my control. The pandemic made everything worse and worse. I have some friends now but they live really far from me and I can't visit them because I'm not vaccinated yet.

As I said in my last comment, I've gotten therapy, and I'm taking a break from social media now that most of my old online friends have turned against me over something I never meant. I'm starting to feel like I've been living a lie. I don't want the rest of my adolescence to be filled with strife and disappointment. Another thing, starting a Twitter account has become my biggest regret. I deactivated it nine months ago, but the side effects still stand on, I always get into arguments with my dad about stuff I shouldn't even be arguing about in the first place. I've been realizing now that I have serious anger issues over things that are pretty much meaningless and not in my control. Another reason as to why I'm getting therapy. I feel like it's become my only way of channeling out sadness. I just want my life to be or at least feel somewhat normal. I don't want to have to deal with any of this, I just want to live a life in peace and simplicity. God help me…


Good luck underage-kun.


It doesn't get easier.


if you keep waiting for things you get better or 'normal' you're going to die having not done anything. find solace in something you can do, now. or the days you lay waiting will pass you by before you realize.

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No. 263 [Reply]

Why do I have no discipline?
Why can't I do anything?
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reach out to people



What do you mean by reach out? Professional help isn't an option because I can't financially afford it, and people at my school have been nearly impossible to become friends with - even when I completely put myself out there and try being involved in things like clubs.


between all people there is mutual suffering and mutual joy, we are all humans after all, no matter how divided we may feel, we all fear and hurt and love and cry. keep trying to meet people half-way because there is literally nothing else to do with life


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Not going to pretend like it's perfect solution to everything, but I keep myself going with three things.

First is to simply have no nothing done days. Unless you are sick or something, you can always do something in a day no matter how big or small. Never allow yourself a day of nothing unless you have a good reason to.

Secondly is that if you like for instance art, but you don't know how to draw well, remember that in months or years from now you will be in the same position. But if you drag yourself now next time you won't be as clueless to drawing as you were before and you will be able to do more and get closer to your goal.

thirdly is just to try doing something for 15 minutes. If it doesn't work, fine. Just leave it be. But I can assure you that the more you do this, the easier that 15 minutes will become and today's 30 minutes will become today's 15.


Is there anything you want to do specifically?

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No. 1111 [Reply]

this board seems to be mostly mind and very little body. post your fitness goals and what practices you are using to reach them.
my own:
>want to lower my resting heartrate from 60 bpm to 45
>ride stationary bike for one hour, every other day at the highest setting at which i can mantain a speed between 90 and 100 rpm
been doing this for a month and had pretty much zero change in resting heart rate, any advice?


Part of it is just continued effort, anon. 60 bpm is on the low end of average adult. =< 45 bpm is in the range of professional athletes.

At least in running, time is more important than intensity for heart rate and breathing. A mildly elevated pulse for long periods allows the body to gently adjust. But if you’re maxing out your pulse during exercise, that’s a significant strain that your cardiovascular system can’t easily equilibrate to


an hour is not enough time? i like the gym but i can't live there. what about HIIT?

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No. 270 [Reply]

How many of you guys are hikkis? It is not something I am proud of personally, yet, it's only been about a month into my second relapse. Have any of you been through this, and have you any advice?
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Not a hikki quite yet, but I am definitely a NEET, complete with SSI. I don't believe I'll ever fully be able to work because my public school teachers were so emotionally abusive that they purposely docked my grades. I can't even drive. I don't pay attention well enough.

I genuinely want to become better and live a life outside of being a NEET. It's my dream to open a little store where I sell handmade goods. No idea if I'll ever achieve it, but it's a nice thought to cling to when life gets rough.


I've rarely been a full hikki, since I would still be forced by my family to go to school or occasionally shopping, but I would become one on breaks and holidays. The closest I got to being a full one I suppose is 2 years ago when I lived away from home for the first time and spiraled into the worst depressive episode I've ever had. I stopped going to any of my classes through the middle of the semester and ate every single meal in bed. Essentially I only got up to shower and use the bathroom.

I think some bad life events that meant I would ultimately have to drop out of school if I continued being a hikki, such as my father refusing to support me financially at all anymore and my grandmother getting cancer (My mother decided to sell our house and leave the country to go care for her), made me start being more active in trying to get myself out of that lifestyle. I started self-studying Japanese, after having taken it for 4 years in high school, and it became a huge passion that I absorbed myself in learning all-day long. This was very important because up until then I don't think I had ever had a single thing in my life that I had been remotely passionate or disciplined enough to keep working at. I believe getting the discipline from that slowly started seeping improvements into other areas of my life, which is why the advice I always like to give now is to find a passion. It may sound like a tired cliche, but I do think it is extremely important to find some area or subject that you will do anything to get good at, so to speak. It can serve as a small light in your darkest tunnel.


Recovering hiki here. I managed to get out of that lifestyle for awhile, but when the pandemic hit online classes and WFH job made me start relapsing. The most I've been going out is for grocery shopping once a week, but I started doing some stretches at home and now I'm trying to take a walk. It's calming and helps keep me active. I would say start small with basic at home stretches like I did, and that may start motivating you to go outside soon, as well.


the pandemic's lockdown order wreaked hell on so many people struggling emotionally/psychologically. im proud of your efforts, anon! do your best.


i went from being something of a chad to a complete shut in. i didnt even know quarentine had happened. i had had a job that put me outside and in the company of my peers doing hard work every day but when i lost it i went into a downward spiral that ended in me sleeping on the floor of a studio apartment afraid to open my door. any time i went out i thought everyone could tell i was some kind of creep and that i made them feel unsafe. i think its all about momentum. if you can do a bit more each day you'll be able to return to being a functional adult. hygenine, spending time outside (wearing a mask, sunglasses, and a hat helps but try to take them off too), gym membership, part time job, education and so on. its not that its too complicated, most of it actually pretty straight foward. its just that doing it all at once is liking trying to get a millstone to roll at 60 mph with one swift kick.

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No. 1017 [Reply]

Why am I so sensitive? All I do is cry. Someone replies to me in a tone that doesn't sound nice and my brain hates it. What's wrong with me? Why can't I toughen up? Why do words affect me so badly?
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Not to pry OP, but have you grown up in a household where you regularly heard yelling and/or were the primary target of it? I have been like you for the longest time, and grew up in such a household so I think that may be one of the reasons. Even now, I can't stand any kind of yelling and it frightens me to the point I want to hide and cover my ears like a child.

I'm also over-sensitive because I've had very severe social anxiety since elementary school. Bullies would say something remotely cold and rude, which would make me full out sob. (My mother constantly made me like that from her verbal abuse too, hence my suspicion that it has much to do with my home environment ) They would then wonder why I was crying and make fun of me for said crying, too.

I've only stood up for myself a handful of times, but in the rare times I did, I took away the lesson that you need to overcome the feeling of sounding or seeming like an asshole when you do. Because you are already over-sensitive, you will feel like one no matter how you stand up for yourself. You'll still be tempted to just make yourself the problem, not the person who made you cry. Of course, there are ways of "standing up" for yourself that really will make you look like an asshole or even crazy, but I doubt you will use those ways, especially if you're still very much controlled by what others think of you. Just remember any such feelings are mostly in your head. If you want people to stop letting people mess with you, getting over them is the first step.


as someone with similar experiences concerning bullying and family fighting this is super solid advice op


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I'll be answering these from my perspective because I deal with simaler issues
>Why am I so sensitive?
Black & white thinking along with fear of humiliation. I can't really think of my self in shades of grey so if I get insulted I seem my self like a complete moron. Once I view my present self of a moron I can only see a future were my life is terrible due to my moronic mind and I get publicly humiliated, not in my friends group, but around the world, due to the same mistake. The fear of humiliation thing is an extension of the black & white thinking most likely.
>What's wrong with me?
Lack of stable identity. There is no "I" beyond the last comment I got and no more nuance in that "I" then good or bad. I can't be 'x who's good at c, but bad at b' I have to be good or bad. If I had a stable identity I could know I have inherent value.
>Why do words affect me so badly?
Previous question.


>Why can't I toughen up?
You haven't found the root issue that's causing all of this and your just treating symptoms. Milk allergy isn't fixed through taking anti-itched meds, it's fixed by not eating milk.
Now onto solutions. This doesn't fix the core issue for me, but I know after an isnult I have a huge spike of emotion and then become moody while obsessing over the insult. If I can busy my mind during the first emotional peak I can avoid a breakdown. This ranges from watching a show I like for 5-10 min after a mean comment to doing math in my head to get my mind off the insult. I wont break down crying at the moment because of this.
The main problem with this is I end up lightly obsessing and being in a bad mood the rest of the day. In order to fix this whenever I have obsessive thoughts I try to meditate on how the average person would react, "AP doesn't care what internet rando's say because he's busy watching the news. AP thinks it's lame to obsessive over random things", to put it in perspective.


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I was reading the last few replies on this and just never got around to writing something but wow I can carnally relate to a lot of things y'all said, and I genuinely hope and wish y'all are doing okay and I wish I could say something more deep and profound but I don't really have anything… head empty

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