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No. 1 [Reply]

Mental and Physical Health.


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No. 211 [Reply]

Bottling only makes it harder.
This thread is intented for people who would like to rant and write out their feelings.

It's possible to just spill everything in the textbox, explain it detailed or even write poems/haikus or stories, whatever your want.
You can give yourself a time- or character limit if you feel overwhelmed with writing down all that is going on.
You may also ask for advice or similiar.


It's hard to keep up a happy face, don't hide under a mask in order to lie to yourself.
Be honest with yourself and your feelings, that's the first step towards self improvement.
122 posts and 44 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.452

I'm mostly over her but every once in a while she'll show up in my dreams and I get sad all over again

No.456

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there are so many of us, the disenfranchised. This should be seen as a problem and it's wierd that it's not. Nobody really cares. "no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own". But this isn't how it should be. It feels wrong. Why are we here. Why has no one come to save us. Hope is a disease.
Can we ever know if it was always like this? [1/2]

No.457

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>>456
Are we just a modern lens over the Truth? The deepest human Truth? That life and suffering are one and the same? Why live in that case? I keep going, you keep going, perhaps thrust onwards by spite. Or maybe our biological instinct to not die. Are there more of us now? Or are we just more aware of this thanks to advanced communication technologies? What's worst about this is we cannot know the answers to these questions. I'm sure we all have our theories about such things bttut we can't KNOW. The universe doesn't give a shit about knowing.Our emergant systems don't give a shit about knowing. So here we gather. Writing overly pretentious monologues anonymously, with full knowledge that even this medium, where we have formed so many connections over the years, is dying, being replaced by corperate, sterile substitutes. And everyone just eats it up because we're all chasing that dopamine hit, which we are so starved of. So alienated from ourselves that we live an unreality.
what the fuck does that even mean. I don't know, but it somehow makes sense to me. I've been locked up in my room for god knows how long, this is no life. This is no life. I want to dive into the internet head first, and never come out again. That's more real than meatspace now. I've had more visceral interactions online than could even be possible in meatspace. Let me in. I beg my monitor to swallow me whole, but all it does is vomit the text i type in futility back up at my eyes.
"The wired might actually be thought of as a highly advanced upper layer of the real world. In other words, physical reality is nothing but an illusion, a hologram of the information that flows to us through the wired. "

No.458

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>>457
good post anon

No.461

I don't even know why I keep bothering trying to live when it is increasingly clear that I'm stagnating in everything I wish to do. The worst part is that it has taken me so long to rant about this because I always feel like I am wasting someone's time or only making them feel worse whenever I have to rant about how much I hate my current position.



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No. 355 [Reply]

Anyone have any experience with antidepressants here? I'm getting so desperate I'm willing to try anything.
5 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.361

SSRIs will fuck you. They are a scam. They don't help, but you become dependent on them and you have to keep spending money on them. They mess up your whole brain chemistry. Most drugs that actually help with depression are ignored because they end up classed as recreational. There are studies which show that psilocybin and ketamine are effective against depression. Psilocybin would probably be a better place to start, since ketamine can be habit forming so I'd recomend that if psilocybin doesn't help.

No.362

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>>359
>they will deprive you of certain rights, use the fact that you've been on anti-depressants before against you in court (it goes on a public "permanent record" sort of thing)

Could you provide a source on that? I did some searches for "anti-depressants/SSRIs permanent record", "anti-depressants/SSRIs used as evidence in court", and a few other permutations but I couldn't find anything that matched up with what you're saying.

No.403

>>362
I'm not motivated enough to find a source, but whenever you hear the talking point that the mentally ill should not be allowed to have guns, that's because if you've been on medication in many states you will not be allowed to purchase them, as many anti-depressant medications are also explicit anti-psychotic medications.

No.405

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I forgot all about this thread, here's an update if anyone is interested.
I've been taking 10mg of prozac daily since late June. After a month of that I went back to the doctor and she prescribed abilify in supplement to the prozac. I never went out and got any abilify (partly due to depression/anxiety and also due to my fears of all these meds). That doctor stopped working at that office and a month or so later I met with another doctor who recommended that I up my dose of prozac to 20mg daily. I said nah I think 10 is fine for now. Idk why I really said that, I havn't felt different at all since I started taking this shit. Not even any side effects or anything I feel pretty much exactly the same. I wasn't expecting a drastic change to my personality or anything but damn Is this all just a big meme?

I still feel like a big loser and I fucking hate myself and only leave the house to go to work or go see a movie like once a month.
The only real tangible difference I can identify is that I no longer despise my job or going to work long ass shifts. Idk if this is due to the drug or just me being there long enough that I've simple accepted it and learned to bear it.

Anyways I'm gonna try shrooms with a college who has said it helped him with his depression over the coming winter so hopefully that will help me out a bit.

No.460

>>405
did you end up doing it, anon?



No. 438 [Reply]

I saw a short interview with the actor who played Barney the Dinosaur the other day. I know it sounds ridiculous but I can't stop thinking about it. Here's a guy with probably one of the shittiest jobs I can imagine and he's just radiating happiness while talking about it. Imagine being in that giant suit, having to dance around for hours probably to kiddie music, the studio lights beaming down on you, you can barely see anything and you're sweating like crazy. But this guy has nothing but positive things about the experience, in fact he says he "loved" being Barney. Most people who do costume work only do it to move up to something better but this guy played Barney for TEN YEARS. He even loves the annoying "I love you" song that Barney sings which he's probably had to listen to thousands of times over the years.

I can't stop thinking about how positive and happy this guy is. I'm such a aggressive, pessimistic, stressed-out person. If I had a job like that, I would probably complain about it all the time. I wish I could be like him and see it as nothing but pure joy. I want whatever he has. In the video, he mentions that he studies Tantra and regularly did meditation. Do you think that's the key to becoming calm and content like he is? Or is that just who he is as a person?

No.459

Some people simply live their façade of normalcy. Like, for whatever reason they can't even entertain negative thoughts. A job requiring constant positivity would just reinforce this behavior with the added spur of financial gain.

Saccharine shit like singing the same happy song over and over again just helps them feel validated within their delusions of everything being perfect. It's an interesting psychological survival strategy but it leaves you unaware of your own issues until you crash into them headfirst.



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No. 263 [Reply]

Why do I have no discipline?
Why can't I do anything?
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

No.354

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Because you don't believe that you can. Yes, it's a cliche. Yes it's unhelpful; it is still true. I used to feel exactly the same way as you did, as though my life was on rails and completely out of my control. I had vague ideas of things that I thought I might want, but never for a moment believed that they would be achievable or could actually happen.
It may not surprise you to hear that I was very depressed for some time; ironically, it was when it got unbearable that I set myself free, completely by accident. I bought some heroin and lots of valium off the darknet with the aim of downing a bottle of vodka and dieing (inb4 not the most effective method, yada yada yada).
And then it occurred to me. Just sitting in despair in my room living off handouts, I could get access to some of the most powerful drugs the world has ever known delivered straight to my door. Isn't that crazy? Imagine what I could do if I put my mind to it!
Look the point of all this is that you need to embrace the absurdity. Chase a whale. Push a boulder up a hill. Smoke some rocks. Just do <something>, for Christs sake. Not something you never thought you could do, because you'll mentally block yourself from doing it. Do something entirely new, that is entirely unlike you.
It could be as simple as getting dessert.

No.365

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>>263
I feel man. Every time I want to get into something new or study a subject, after some time I lose interest and drive to ever look at it again.
I've fallen so many times into this spiral of apathy and despair.

No.374

I don't have discipline unless I have stress and pressure. So if I was to guess for you anon its probably the same. Just give yourself something to stress over and a deadline to hit it.

No.450

I was just about to post this exact same topic.

>354


This is really true. I think I was just born a POS garbage person and don't think I can change it. Like when I think about "people who exercise" or "organized people" and wish I was like them…it just seems impossible and well, I'm not *one of those people*. I'm a garbage person.

How do I stop believing this?

No.451

>>450
just know that you can change, but it will take a conscious, sometimes grueling, effort. force yourself to learn small habits. go for a walk every morning, or put things back where they belong. over time, these good habits will overtake your old, bad ones and be easier to stick to.



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No. 435 [Reply]

Hello, my friends.

For a while now I have had the assumption that I, personally, perceive the state of "feeling touched / moved" as more extreme than other people, though I have no idea why that might be.
The best example for this is whenever my dear mom passionately tells me about things she has done, for instance crafting some decoration, how proud she is of the outcome and that she'd like to show me. I perceive this as really cute and am extremely moved every time, but this "aww"-feeling seems more like sadness than anything else and one time even caused me to have some sort of emotional breakdown. One where I was crying for 2 hours straight, and I didn't even know what for - I still don't, in fact. This can't be entirely normal, can it?

My mom is the person I love most in this world, so then why do I feel so sad at times where her happiness shines through the most? Does it subconsciously remind me that I won't have her around forever? Maybe it reminds me of times when I wasn't good to her and I feel more grief now whenever I see how nice of a person and thus how undeserving she was of bad things that happened in the past?

Maybe some anons here have had similar experiences - if so, please tell us! Or maybe all of this really is normal after all and this is just what feeling moved is all about.

No.436

It can be """normal""" if you are an introvert. Because introverts can be more intense with feelings when they are real.

Daydreaming imagining your mom dead and how you could've been a better person to your family or close friends and whatever, happens sometimes inside the mind of introverts, because they fantasize too much.

But if it's been occurring for a long time, all the time, it might be depression.

I was used to feel this way almost everyday, but it's getting better. Start to exercise, you can run, jump, ride a bike or something. I promise you're gonna feel better.

No.437

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>>435
this is pretty much how I feel when I'm finally coming out of a long period of depression. i get emotional over the smallest things, even to the verge of tears sometimes. but i usually readjust and things level out after about a week or so.

No.444

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Seems like you are just a sensitive person – those who can experience deep sadness can also experience the mirrored deep happiness (awe, meaning, etc.). Crying for 2 hours may seem like a long time, but perhaps there was some unexpressed pain you had to let out.

I have cried at paintings, sunlight glinting on a body of water, a sunset seen from a plane, seeing people gathered and relaxed all together in one place. This is the gamut of human experience.

No.445

>>437
Same here (but for shorter periods).

For me it also seems to happen if I notice oncoming depression but manage to avoid the spiral of negative thoughts, which I guess leaves me still biochemically fucked up for a while but not sad.



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No. 270 [Reply]

How many of you guys are hikkis? It is not something I am proud of personally, yet, it's only been about a month into my second relapse. Have any of you been through this, and have you any advice?
26 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

No.352

I wish I wasn't a NEET, I wish I wasn't a Hikki,I wish I wasn't a gross abomination born in the wrong body, I wish I wasn't born to the wrong family in the wrong country in the wrong era in time… it's all wrong. And I never wanted any of it.

No.353

>>352
And yet, everyone suffers in this way, only our masks, lies, and "feel good" escapist coping mechanisms hide it from sight. We are just more honest people, that we show it.

No.441

I occasionally slip into non-reality and live in my imagination due to the isolation and free time. I don't know how much time has passed since I started hikkidom, almost a year? a year? Time just passes so quickly now and functioning normally seems only slightly possible

No.442

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I'm OP and >>347
Reading through this thread is so comfy. I'm working again and I have been enjoying it. It makes a big difference to be able to relate to your coworkers and be friends with them. Sure, it helps to live in an area with a lot of fellow weirdos. A few years ago, I never would have thought I'd come this far in overcoming my social anxiety. It does get easier to interact with people, and the physical human interaction has a profound impact on your mental health. We're all gonna make it anons.

No.443

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>>442
Glad to hear fren.



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No. 429 [Reply]

Anyone else doing this?

I know a lot of people are skeptical of any health benefits that could be gained from not wagglin your willly and idk if there are true health benefits myself, but I know for sure I am addicted to pornography and I want to stop. I have many personal reasons as to why I want to stop masturbating and watching porn.

So thoughts on nofap?
Tips and tricks to help fight the urge when it comes?

No.430

I don't know about health benefits and I can see it being a harm if you are used to jerking yourself more than once a day and then going to 0 for a long time.

It's certainly an act of self discipline though. If you manage to hold this for a whole month I'm sure you'll find the will and energy to do other things like study or medidate.

Best of luck anon.

No.432

>>430
I'm also of the opinion that it's more of an exercise in self-control than anything. I personally fap a few times a day even though I, "don't want to." but it definitely saps my motivation after I'm done.

My only cure is to keep busy, but even working 12 hours a day isn't busy enough, so honestly it's really hard for me to go more than a couple days without coming across some anime grill thumbnail that boils my oil.



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No. 402 [Reply]

Does anyone here suffer from tinnitus? How you deal with the blasted ringing when it comes? I feel like I can't enjoy the simple pleasures of music anymore.
4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

No.411

Yeah, although it's mostly notable at night nowadays. It used to be pretty loud but over the years it has become some sort of low volume static.
The world is loud in general.

No.412

I have it, but it's not that loud for me. Hence why i got used to it easily. One of my friends has it too, but it's much worse for him, his tip for me was to ignore it, just how one anon said already. You'll get used to it, eventually.

No.415

I've heard from several people that the white/pink/brown noise generators on https://mynoise.net/ can help alleviate tinnitus for a while. If it's more of a pulsing ring, maybe sine waves can also help.

No.416

OP here, happy to report that it is getting better now. I gave more focus to listening to the world and music around me (at safe levels) than the tinnitus. When it comes though, I let it happen. Acceptance truly gives it less energy, and though it is still a bother, it isn't a big one anymore ;)

No.417

>>416
Im glad to hear that.



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No. 376 [Reply]

I don't have problems with alarm but I literally can't get out of bed, I spend hours (yes, hours) in my bed just draydreaming and escaping to a fantasy world
What should I do to stop it?

No.377

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>>376
Does it affect you negatively? As in, hindering any daily necessary productivity.

No.381

>>377
It is like a drug, I'm happy in my fantasy world but when I come back to reality, when I realize that all of this things aren't real I feel bad and defeated
Also my body hurt, the inaction affect me and my muscles feel tired

No.400

>>376
I know this.I think you had Maladaptive daydreaming disorder, i have it too.Okay a lil story time: i was bullied through high school(quite relentlessly) and i used daydreaming as a escapism.My grade drastically dropped, i didn't even lived in reality anymore, and even the concept of it was quite blurry for me.I had this alternative universe with my imaginary friends who will protect me and i spend all my time in this fake fantasy.I drew them, wrote stories about them in my notebook.I was totally detached from reality.When i graduated think just became weider .I moved to a new town had friends (i still have them) but my expectio about people were really high because of my daydreams.I have less and less fantasy about my alternative universe since my life became crucially better.
How could you stop it?
Seek a therapist, they helped me a lot.Also improve your life conditons, daydreaming is a form of escapism and its usually roots in lonliness.
All the best for you, sorry for the blogpost.



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